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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Jean, 29091988I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Exits
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Saturday, January 26, 2008
Time check! 1030hrs. thurs night was dreadful and draggy. didnt catch a wink the whole night since 2000hrs till friday afternoon 1230hrs. so basically I was like a walking zombie the whole day. and guess what, whilst i was on my way to school trying to get on the crowded bus. i was standing near the entrance door of the bus, squeezing with like millons on people trying to rush to work or school. and then. when the bus captain open the door. i had my left feet squash by the door. AND YET. i didnt sae anything. I was too stoned. really stoned. 'cause I remembered it was painful. very painful somemore. but to think back, i really wonder why didnt i scream or something. Just when the passengers standing in front of me (whose blocking my view of the bus captain) shifted further into the bus, and then the bus captain realised that the door is stuck or something. but he didnt know it was my feet. sigh. thus, i look at him and i pointed to my left feet and i said, ''Uncle, wo de jiao bei stuck le (Uncle, my feet is being stuck).'' Bus captain, ''Orh ok.'' -.- i really wonder why I didnt scream. and I told mummy, valerie, karen and john about this. and they laughed at me asking me why Im so stupid. Especially valerie, she laughed till tears roll. *sigh* I crawled out of school on friday after delivering my Entrepreneurship Report baby. and I realised, and I guess, the following are some things which Ive discovered (1) I have learned to spell the word 'Entrepreneurship' finally without any referances (2) I have learned how to do breakdown on inventory cost, cash inflow, cash outflow, income statement, balance sheet, breakeven, NPV and so on. (I think I even saw these in my dreams) (3) I have scraped through my accounts in sem 1.1 and i really mean scraped. Court Case next tues. Know what? I thought I was prepared & not feeling afraid. but when the thought of it came in last night, and it caught me scared-ed. in fact, even I myself didnt know, I am scared and afraid. probably for the past few weeks and months, I just pushed the thought away, didnt wanna affect myself though I can sae its a 'small' case, i didnt realise that the fear was this much sigh. I guess, Im just a scarey cat. but the truth is. I really am. haiis. Im getting easily irritated nowadays. especially by a particular person. I dunn0 if he/she had realised. everytime he/she called, i felt like justing screwing him/her up. and we have not much topics to talk about. even if there is, we would end up quarrelling. Im sick&tired max. is it me? or is it everyone too? but all I know is that, I cant take it anymore. I cant take it, when a person makes his/her promise and never fulfills it. (this applies for everyone) I just hate it. if you cant do it, do not promise me that you will I hate empty promises. in the end, Im always left to handle shits myself. or rather, more shits because of he/she and I mean it. I REALLY HATE IT TO THE CORE!!! |
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |
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