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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Jean, 29091988I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
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Saturday, August 30, 2008
Just We Lyrics (Fantasy Couple / Trouble OST) Singer: M. Family / Romanization by Kreah onjena / unnun nol / nae-ga urrin chi mo-reu-go sochung-han / saramul / kyote dum-yonsodo mollasso nunmuldo / hansumdo / shigani hae-gyohae jundago nawa na / hamkkehan / sarinduri narul wiro-hae Just in my heart Just in we together saranghanda marurhalkka onjena ni gyote cho-umchorom noye sonul chapgo hamkke kodko shipo Just in my heart Just in we together kidarimwe kkuten nae-ge wajwo nae-ge ki hwirul jwo onjerado noye kyote My Girl ttonagan / binjari / sonmyonghan guri-um soke dwinuchun / huwiro / norul nan ttodashi burununde Just in my heart Just in we together saranghanda marurhalkka onjena ni gyote cho-umchorom noye sonul chapgo hamkke kodko shipo Just in my heart Just in we together kidarimwe kkuten nae-ge wajwo nae-ge ki hwirul jwo onjerado noye kyote My Girl kokchongi dwae tto darul sarami nowe kyote jarijapgo issul kkabwa tashi hanbon nayegiro dorawa Just in my heart Just in we together tashi mannan noyegeman hae-chugo shipun mal norul sarang-hae kidarin noyege chonhae-jugo shipo Just in my heart Just in we together tura-onun ku nari ondamyon nae-ga tora-omyon kojyokanun ma-um modu julke Oh my God. You know what? Ive pretty much to blog. but I just seemed so excited 'cause Ive changed the blog song which is the OST from the Korean Drama series. LOVES LA LOVES! Im never known as a korean drama fan, but this time. Im in Love again! with the show of cos! if anyone can help me look for the English translation, zomg i tell u.. I WOULD LOVE HIM/HER SO MUCH DEEP DEEP! *but wont be more than my love for b'fren. -whispers- he gets jealous* LOL Thursday, August 28, 2008
That's fast. Welcome to Thursday. One more day and the weekends are here again. Lets have a lill recap on what happened for the past few days.. hmmm... Monday Night after I got home from work, my breathing difficulty got very. I was really out of breathe. but still, stubborn as I am, I refuse to see other doctors. I got home and took a short nap, hoping by the time Im awake, it will be gone. snoozed for 45mins and I woke up, to find myself in the same situation again. That was only then, Ive decided to get the doctor. b'fren was busy at work so I made my way down to the clinic near my house. To make things worst for me, I was already short of breathe, and the strong stench of frangipani (is that how you spell that?) smell followed me all the way to the clinic which is like half a street away. The 'fragance' was so strong and choking that I could really drop death on the spot due to lack of oxygen. argh! Ignored it and when for the doctor. after hearing what the doctor told me, I got pretty fed-up. Really. He's the 2nd doctor that I went to telling me that its not asthma and gave me something else which even boils me further. got into pretty bad shape and when I reached home feeling even worst. b'fren called from work and asked how I was. but my situation didnt get any better. I struggled for hours to breathe. the chest was feeling so tight and the blockage in the windpipe really kills. b'fren den rushed down to pick me up to his family doctor to go for ECG test to see if I had any heart attacks or sorts. results came out was normal. and AGAIN. Doctor 3 tells me the same thing AGAIN! and gave me stronger pills to it. I refuses to admit to what they say. 'cause I know the condition of my body better than anyone elses do!! to calm me down, b'fren brought me for porridge, looked after me and accompanied me for hours before he went home to sleep. though he was really tired, but im so happy and fortunate that he cares and loves me. (:
Tuesday rested awhile more and caught some DVD, changed and when out to Century Square. Only Alvin was free, so we coffee-ed at Coffee Bean and 'gossiped' for some time. Buddy then dropped me at weibin's house to meet up with b'fren and the rest for dinner. thanks bro! =D darlin' drove his 'convertable' down to bin's house..! lol.. a 'Convertable' that's able to fetch like 20 people? =D and we rode down to Big Splash to have Sushi Teh! The guys enjoying and having fun with the 'Convertable' ride. lol!
Yumyum!!!!! The food is so much better and nicer than Sakae Sushi ah! (price is also 'better' anyway). b'fren, me, weibin,junxiang, we ordered like a whole table of food. DAMN SHIOK i tell you! sashimi, cod fish, ika, chawanmushi, Saporo, tempura, ramen and sooooo many more...
Goodness, we ate like we hadnt eaten for 3 days.. lol! 4 person and our bill was $180plus.. quite worth it eh! Average $50 per pax and we ate some monsters. hoho! so happy. sick and eating good food makes me feel like a happy girl! (: Wednesday This is darlin's new car. Honda Fit. Lol. He regretted and complained that he should had gotten his Swifts Sport instead. Nice what! no meh?   Ive forgetten to take a upclose picture of his rims. I LIKE! It was a night of cosy hugs and loves 'cause its our 7th Month Anniversary!
I love you! (: Monday, August 25, 2008
Monday monday monday monday monday. I hate mondays, especially rainy-weathered mondays. at this moment, Im having like bad stomach aches now after eating the Old Chang Kee curry puff moments ago!! arghhh.. the stomach aches are so eerie and sickening that it keeps giving me cold creeps and goosebumps. Furthermore, my table is like under the aircon! b'fren and I had broken our own new record! We had 6 bottles of tiger! wahhahaa...! (the bottles as in those coffeeshop type like all the uncle uncle love to drink) our maximum was 4, but we broke our record with 2 more bottles... hahahaa... and b'fren knocked out after that.. LOL.. *shakeheads* I was sleeping all the way early sat night to late evening on sunday. I needed sleep. alot. was feeling a lill unwell. lets add this entry with a few pictures! Let me show you my lill desk at work. (:
 the desktop with our pictures to keep me so motivated to 1730hrs everyday! =D  I have a bad memory, but this sticky pads are my best friends at work! (: Saturday, August 23, 2008
thanks and goodmorning. Its sat morning and Im at work. Im very very tired to the max. Guess what I was doing yesterday night and caught myself in such a tired mood? * * * * * * * * * * We played 'Monopoly' till 0400hrs in the morning @ telly's house! YA!! like from yesterday night 2300hrs plus till this morning 4am! and I have to wake up at 0700hrs to come for work. I only managed to have like 2.5hrs of sleep. Im like a walking zombie now.................................. b'fren is bad with words, but he always knows what to do to make me feel loved by him. He showers with me with many many hugs and kisses everyday to express himself. loves!!!! (: 4 more days to our 7th month anniversary baby!!! Friday, August 22, 2008
half an hour more to lunch time and Im already hungry. hmmm.. I have to work tomorrow. omg. that means I have to wait till sunday then I can visit Dr Joshua Lua already. today he would only be around in the morning, which I have to work. tomorrow he would only be around in the morning again, which I have to work. that means Im left with sunday to go see him. which CLASHES with DSB outing. siiiigghhh. im trying to cut down/quit nicotine. I swear my breathing is quite bad. I hadnt touched any since morning. which is a great accomplishment at least. the next target is not to be tempted during lunch time to get a new pack. roar! Im going to buy chocolates and sweets later I dont care! Thursday, August 21, 2008
you know what? of all the people in my life, i love b'fren the most. BUT, it saddens me sooooOOoo much.... that.. he FORGETS my birthday date. omg. he like mixed up all the dates.. goodness. its ok darlin', I forgive you for now. but see how you redeem yourself lo.. =D Money seems so worthless now. the moment Ive realised the pay is here, the next minute out goes the money. Ive paid all my bills through internet banking. tmd. looking at the balance left again. I felt the heartache and the pathetic-ness. laughs! oh well! its time to see the doctor and contribute some money to the government again. idiots. Wednesday, August 20, 2008
So fast. Its wednesday again. weeettt... Im very sleepy at this very moment. Met b'fren and david yesterday night for a 3hrs chill-OUT session at Laguna. after the 'incident', Im rather scared of going Laguna, especially during wee hours. I have to force b'fren to accompany me to the Ladies. XD. sometimes, its just nice to lay back and listen to b'fren talk. Sometimes, it would turn into nags and he keep repeating himself. really got me into laughs at times. hahaha.. I've always loved, to sit back and listen to him speak, anything under the sun. Im not suprised, that Ive always learn new stuffs after he speaks. thats why I love my b'fren so much! thats him. he's always playing like a young kid in my eyes. but when it comes to real serious stuffs, he's scarier than any people. he's a wolf la! lol.. its really time to get a doctor. Breathing difficulties usually only comes during night time. but now, 'they' love me and had decided to stay in me for days. I've tolerating from this for a couple of days through day and night now. got me pretty frustrated. and I would believe that this would cost me quite abit, thus Ive been waiting for payday to come before I consult one. good grief! sighhh. these few days, Ive been chasing after this Korean show. Ive never been a fan of Korean shows, but this was an exception. Its on Channel U every Mon to Fri @ 2200hrs to 2300hrs. The lead actors were hilarious and I pretty like the story line. this show never fails to bring me, my sister and my mother laughter. zomg. 4 more episodes and its ending. Im going to search for the DVD. =D
 thats me! (: Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I hate the issue. Really. From the time things happened till now. Its almost three years. I dun hate the man. Ive forgiven on that point. It's just that when I look back into those times of the darkest period, I felt really upset and unhappy. As at that time, Im not fortunate enough to have responsible people to look after me. In fact, even adults are really irresponsible. I hate it. some issues that happened around became discussing topics between me and b'fren. Unlike others, he's a responsible man, but too bad I had met him earlier. I wouldnt need to pull through so much pain, ALONE. and where I have to go through really bad physical, mental pain and torture, others would only have to pull through their emotions. so whats yours compared to mine? here, Im not being proud of myself or what-so-ever. Its just that, whats wrong has been wrong and dont even make the same mistake again. We make mistakes everyday here and there, its inevitable. Some mistakes Humans are able to make them a couple of times. Some mistakes you cant afford even to make them once but since there is spilled milk, use a piece of cloth and wipe it off. The floor is clean again. Life still has to go on. Isnt it? sadly to say, it brings a scar. Im not sure if it applies to everyone, but for me, Yes. I can forget how to count 1+1, but I dun think I would even forget where the place is even when I grow old. So, this was the darkest period that Ive been through, MYSELF. Sad enough to remember that, really. till this very day, I could still tear over the issue. the phyiscal and emotional pain, is inbearable. really. It really took me pretty long, to get issues over. till this era, laugh-able but true, some people still cant accept this. I really don't know why. is it good to be traditional at times? Whatever is it past is past, never would anyone wish or wanted such things to happened, dont they? goodness. LOVE someone, accept all their past, embrace who they are in the present. its the past that nurtures one to be who he/she is now, and thats the he/she that you loved now. so why get bothered about history? **the above entry is not pointing fingers at any particular person. DONT get sensative, DONT get paranoid. Its just based on personal opinions and thinkings.** anyway, i think my health is getting from bad to worst, even though Im having my meals regularly. so tell me whaads wrong with me again. my breathing difficulty is coming back every night. I wish to see b'fren tonight. I want to give him a big tight hug and tell him 'I Love You.' Im happy as who I am now, and I dont look back into the past anymore. its all over as long as my b'fren is with me. he's my drinkin' buddy, he's my slackin' khaki, he's my listenin' ear, he's my advisor. So, I have an all-in-one b'fren. Who needs another? I dont! laughs. (: Sunday, August 17, 2008
ok. its monday, wave bye bye to the weekends. its nice meeting up with all the westside friends. really. all the farked buddies for years and knowing each other's styles and ways. what a waste, that we aint able to communicate often. reason due to me, staying in the east. roar! thanks patrick for being the 'clown'. or rather I was the clown as he had never seen Jean is such a 'laugh-able' situation. laugh laugh laugh. damn annoying freak. oh Ama***~! yea, I was just being silly. Bfren loves me (though he always scolds me, -.-) and I love my bfren! lol. 9 more days to 7th month anniversary! (: ouhwell. my old illness is back. my breathing difficulty is coming back for me. and I have trouble breathing occasionally. pretty bad i feel. Its really time to get a doctor. Money again. tsk!   lol. this is for fun. abstracted from the 100 pages report of Personality test or something. it gives very detailed description though. Friday, August 15, 2008
Im not suppose to be at home at this hour. yea. Suppose to meet him. but it was cancelled again. its ok. goodnite people. doctor told mummy, that I may have asthma background. lol. so many things I want to share with you. but its ok. blink blink. there goes another week. i swear this week past like damn fast. I dont know why. probably due to increasing workload I guess. From Monday till this very moment, Ive only seen Bfren on Wednesday night for 2 hours. From our usual loving sessions for at least 1 hour per day. till 2 hours within this whole week. what a drastic change. really. but we both were like really too tired to come out. and so.. Its finally friday, the CPA Forum 2008 held @ Marriot Hotel was a success. in fact, this is the first time I had been to such an event. 'Accounting event'. laughs. it was fun. but I had to reach Marriot at 0630hrs. and due to lack of sleep yesterday nite. I was like a total zombie this morning. good thing is, I took a cab this morning. and it can be claimed from the company.. wahhahha.. Im in the Communications department, i do have opportunities to get in touch with media. and today, reporters and journalists were down at our event. and I met this girl from SPH. I know her name, but I believed that it wont be really nice to like S-P-E-L-L out hers. She was damn blardy rude to the maximum. Even my boss has to admit that. good gracious. such high education had gone down to a waste. and god bless to the intern that was attached to her. -.- after the forum had started at 0900hrs. I had such an easy job. Walk around, talk and eat. LOL.
waaaaaa... damn shiok la... I pratically only walked around and eat eh..zomg.. and we get to eat first before the delegates come out for their breaks.. lol.. so nice hospitality and welfare for the staff. hoho. see. im so happy. take cab, company pay. Eat 3 meals in 5hrs time, excluding from 0600hrs, company pay. After forum, come back office, collegue drive us back. lol.. really damn happening todae!!! laughs...the price to pay for 'free' stuffs. came back to office at 1430hrs.. urgent tasks came to me and I have 1 hr to reach dateline. thankyou! but now im blogging. 'cause Im done with work! =D hoho.. alright. enough for the enthu-ness for work. ytd I offically met up with DSB for dinner. lol. we have a strength of total 11 now. and this wld be the max! the guys had some issues yesterday. But it was over. (: Nevertheless, New member for us! DSS Number 1: Jean! (always&forever No. 1 and only 1. -.-) DSB New*
im tired too. Monday, August 11, 2008
thanks to NDP that falls on a Sat, its a school holiday. NOT a public holiday. Some of the companies do not give an extra day off. And my company belongs to one of them. TSK. So here I am on a Monday morning. Reporting time is 0830hrs, but till this moment no one is here yet (0848hrs). and how sickening is that. Im sitting down here with nothing to do at all but it was due to me finishing up all my work last week. lol. Im like asking for more tasks to hold. Work's stressful but its ok. Its a growing up process. but one thing more sure. I really hate being employed. I want to be an employer of my own! and I dunno when would I be 'lucky' enough to reach for that day. Probably after some time I'll get full time back to real estate again.. =D I shall stop complaining. typical though. Its monday people. Monday blues. laughs. was watching Oylmpics late ytd till 0100hrs++ thus Im feeling a lill sleepy at this moment. yawns* oh. im meeting desmond to paste flyers later at thiong bahru. god damn. *double yawns* work work work work. money faster come. 'cause Ive spent all. dunno on what also. blardy cab fares! I left with 6 weeks and 3 days before the end of my 19 years old life. Im turning 20! but excited yet not excited! sigh! its 16 days to 7th month anniversary with baby! (: hugs hugs* Friday, August 08, 2008
HAPPY 080808 PEOPLE! I know this is kinda random but I believe this is one of the very busy days for Registry of Marriage (ROM). laughs. this type of 'auspicious' dates, everyone starts to get married. lol? crazy people. oh well, Im just bored and sleepy in office. OK. I think it is time to reveal what I had been doing for the past one week. laughs. the reason why Im working myself to death, 'cause Im holding on to 2 jobs now. (woah!) I've never tried this in my whole life and this is what I really call work to death. Being in the real estate industry for the past 6 months, Ive learnt to look at things in very different angles. 6 months flew very quickly and I must say, I do love the industry. People are nice and friendly, you meet nice clients and very nasty ones. Get in touch with different social classes of people, hearing different experiences. Everyone with different mentality, different working style. and how all these are incorporated together and one to become your own working style. Donald Yeo. He is one of the most respectable leader in the company. Not too long ago. He had his interview with MediaCorp which was released in the news. This man, working and teaching style is exclusively different from most of the trainers. Alot of people respected him, including myself. His capabilities is far beyond imagination I feel. but ouh well. I wish i was his daughter or something. lol! ** You must be wondering, since Im doing fine with real estate, then why 2 jobs? Well, to be frank, I got pretty lazy. this is a self-employed business. you work on your own time own target own preferances. I started lazing around. lol! and I got sick with work. laughs. yea man. It was pretty sad though. so I took some time and considered about it. and 2 weeks ago. Nicole rang me up. (Nicole is the agent from WhizLink ManPower which I had worked for her 2 years @ Philips). She needs people to work (as usual 'cause she always calls me). Not long ago also, Ive 'put her on aeroplane' and stood her up for a job interview. laughs. so she screwed and screamed at me initally before she can say anything else. Institute of Certified Public Accountants of Singapore (ICPAS) is one of the big non-profit accounting organization in Singapore and they are looking for a replacement post of Assistant Exective for the Communications Department. well, seems nice and so Nicole asked me to go down for interview. Was pretty relunctant to go down initally but I told myself. Probably its time to stop rotting and incultivate some discipline in myself which I think Im seriously lacking off. laughs. when down for interview, I thought i screwed everything up. I wasnt prepared at all. like TOTALLY. i didnt put in effort for my resume, i didnt refresh and get myself prepared for the Frequently Asked Questions for coporate interviews. Like what Ive mentioned. I was totally unprepared. The FAQs were asked, I stammered alot but I know what I want to speak off. Interview was conducted in the huge Board Meeting Room which got me so nervous. When I walked out of the company, I gave myself a laugh and told myself to forget it. Never would I expected it, after 2 days, I got feedback that the interview when well and they liked me. LOL? its 2 ladies who interviewed me, not guys. ya. I got a big shock. they wanted to hire me. -.- they pay me relatively high for fresh graduate I can say. but Communications is a stranger to me. Part of the jobscope includes event management, coordination, branding. it appeals quite a fair bit to me. last monday, Ive started work. Im one week old with the company. Everything seems so unexpected but its ok. Bfren told me to give it a shot, and work in all the industry. Im still young he says, most jealous-ly. laughs. i took his words and he was sweet enough to support and motivate me in everything I do. (though he scolds me often. lol). and so next week on the Friday, there is an event coming up. The CPA forum 2008 in conjunction with CPA Australia (the friendly competitor of ICPAS) at Singapore Marriott Hotel Grand Ballroom Level 3, with Channel News Asia as the Official Media. Im all so excited! and so now! Im officially a 2 jobs taker. Assistant Executive of Communications and the HSR Real Estate Consultant. woooooh! thats the reason of why Im sooo00ooo00oooo really really exhausted. i apologise for the long lengthy entry. but Im just happy and excited. though both workloads are pretty heavily. Im still coping well. more updates on bosses and collegues soon! stay tune. =D i miss my bfren. TERRIBLY. I need more couple bonding and hugging nights to stay happy. Thursday, August 07, 2008
The below article's gonna affect the real estate agents real badly, especially to their pockets. I have different views about this. but Im feeling too tired to spell them out. stay tuned to next entry please. =D Im really tired and exhausted from work. good gracious. recently boyf and I didnt really spend much time together both due to work committements. I hope work's not going to pile up till the weekends. Guess I would really need to take some time off the week ends to rest. goodnite readers. jean's off to bed. SINGAPORE: Market players said on Wednesday that the move to scrap guidelines on property agents’ fees by September 25 is unlikely to leave a deep impact on the real estate sector. However, they warned against rogue agents who may try to cash in on the change in rules. The Competition Commission of Singapore (CCS) ruled on Tuesday that the fee guidelines adopted by the Institute of Estate Agents (IEA) should be removed as they are uncompetitive. Under the current guidelines, property agents stand to pocket a commission of 2 per cent of the transacted price. With the removal of the guidelines, buyers and sellers will be free to negotiate the fee payable to their agents. Real estate agencies are generally supportive of the move, but they are concerned that the lack of fee guidelines could trigger more rogue practices. Chris Koh, director of Dennis Wee Group, said: "If the owner is not aware of what the market price of his property is, then he may fall into a trap where the rogue agent says, ’Ok, you want a million dollars, that’s what you said you want, I will get you that S$1 million. "But if I sell your property at S$1.2 million, then that S$200,000 is for me to keep since there is no guideline that it must be a percentage’." Another real estate company, Propnex, warned against agents who offer unnecessary services just to quote a higher commission. Without any fee guidelines, market players said it is down to the agencies to set their own commission structure. Propnex said consumers must assess their agents based on their commitment, track record and knowledge of the market. Some industry players said the removal of the commission guidelines will not spark a price war because the cost of marketing a property has nearly doubled in the past ten years, and it will not be sustainable for agents to start under—cutting each other. On average, about 10 to 20 per cent of the agent’s commission goes into marketing efforts, such as taking out advertisements to promote a property. Paying a lower commission does not necessarily mean a better deal as agents may not put in as much effort to sell a property. Some Singaporeans prefer to sell their properties on their own. Rosanah Mon helped her mother sell her three—room flat at Jalan Bukit Merah for S$230,000, saving over S$2,000 in the process. "I don’t see the necessity (to get a property agent), if you know the procedures well and you follow the guidelines," she said. In fact, the Housing and Development Board (HDB) said it has seen an increase in the number of such transactions — rising from 5.5 per cent of total resale transactions in 1998 to about 8 per cent now. To boost greater understanding of the sales procedures, HDB holds monthly resale seminars, with the next one scheduled on September 6. More information is available online at www.hdb.gov.sg. Wednesday, August 06, 2008
alright. I was too tired to blog much yesterday night thus I didnt fill you readers up with much details on what really happened yesterday. hmmm.. I was bored during lunch. Bfren was busy with work thus I had to entertained myself. randomly I took my phone and called desmond as I was nearby his place. to my suprise, he came down in 10 mins. laughs. and so I had a companion for lunch! lol. ok, this is not the focus of this blog entry. around 1745hrs of yesterday, I was walking at the zebra crossing, trying to get my way home. and as I was crossing, a sliver car was driving towards me. I swear the driver did saw me but he freakingly didnt slow down nor stop his car and he continued driving! in fact, he was driving really fast 'cause it was at the bend, but instead he tried to pick up his speed and not wanting to let me cross! I was already half way through the zebra crossing for goodness sake. the blardy middle aged man wearing a pair of black shades and driving some farked up poor man car somemore! tmd.... I cua sai for awhile i swear! Imagine when he stepped on his brakes, it was so farking near me till the extend that I could feel the impact of the motion on my legs! wth......... i was stunned for a few secs and I was standing in the middle of the zebra crossing. I appeared very calm and stable and I stared hard at him. (but inside, I was really stunned already la!). He stared at me back. I almost pointed middle finger to him in front of his car I swear! I didnt let him passed, and I continued to cross the road. I remember his farking face. I turned back and caught his car plate number. I didnt manage to see which farked car brand was that as everything happened in less than 3 mins time. Im sure its not some big branded cars that could be recongized easily. Hes the mother farker that spoiled my mood for yesterday. I was really freakingly pissed. Trying his luck that idiot. CAR PLATE NUMBER: 2018L SILVER CAR I hate irresponsible drivers like him. super guai lan!!!! really freaking pissed off with him yesterday and I swear it was really a close shave. the Freaking car is really 1 inch away from my left. arghhh....! dun ever let me see that freaking car again I swear. was complaining all the way to Bfren till I reach home. and the man was sweet enough to come down straight from his work to pick me up for dinner. Initally we aint meeting ytd, though he still have stuffs to do and had a long tiring dae. (: thankyou my love. Tuesday, August 05, 2008
work's better than Ive imagined. but I do not see any motivation. laughs. sighh. we shall see how it goes soon ba. thank you sweetie for rushing down to accompany me to dinner just now. (: many loves! i want this happiness to last. really. will we sweetie? Sunday, August 03, 2008
after blogging, I would be heading to bed. pretty sleepy. if baby knows that Im still blogging at this hour, hes gonna nag at me to death again. weekends' ending fast once more and I hope that my body did have enough rest to cope with Monday's upcoming workload. oh thankyou. I went for health checkup last friday. and goodness. Im officially 42kg. like 42kg please! that was like the weight during my Secondary 4 days. and for the past 2-3 years, my weight has been constantly between 44kg before meals and 45kg after meals. and why the hell did it even drop to 42kg? and Im like the lightest at home other than my younger brother. My mum says Im monsterous. tskkk. I dun understand why everyone is trying to lose weight badly, whereas Im not trying to slim down and heres a drastic drop. oops. was chatting with karen and val on friday afternoon and jiawei on sat noon, to realise, I do miss school. complaining days and nights of projects, its peanuts as compared to work load and stress. Admit it or not, Humans are contridicting freaks. When they have this, they feel that THAT is better. but when they have THAT, they feel that this is better. This applies for many stuffs in fact. take studying for example. Students tend to want to hurry with their studies and get on with work and life. Whereas adults are dreaming and hoping with their pile of workload beside them, that they could turn back time and enjoy student life again, which is never possible. oh lord. I miss the nicotine areas, noisy canteens, sleepy classrooms, comfy Brand Hub chairs. i do miss the creeps from the last 2 years of Marketing life. guess Life has to go on, good times dont stay sweet, some things would never be how it used to be. Mugging with the books, sleeping with the labtops, late night suppers. ohwell. I believed these would all just be beautiful memories. crazy. Im sounding emotional again.
viwawa is the time bomb that keeps me occupied! sleep now please. goodnight. Saturday, August 02, 2008
Im 19 going 20 this year. Many told that im not behaving like my age. I couldnt catch what they meant, so i had asked for a further explanation. I was told, at the age of 19, i should be enjoying the school days, drinking, dancing, singing, clubbing, shopping. but i didnt. I was asked why is that so. I couldnt answer. as much as I would love to enjoy carefree days, I cant. I wanted to be a normal 19 years old girl. so what i had finished my diploma at this age and i dun have to waste 2 years wearing greenry and serving the nation? sometimes i do wish pace would slow down and so that I can capture every view and details of my life now. Even given the chance for me to study now again, i wont pick it up. 'cause my situation and life wont allow me to take my life easy and slowly. theres no time to waste. as much as I want to leave everything behind and stay on my own, my heart doesnt allows me too. im caught in the situation whereby, I want to love, care and think for myself more. But I CANT. and sometimes, i do wish i was dead. Friday, August 01, 2008
busy busy busy. busy sleeping, thinking, working and taking a good rest. I guess my body is totally worn out by stressed. but ouh well. this was a fruitful week. all had went well! (: despite small lill squabbles with baby, but its ok. everyone make mistakes. ouh well! happy birthday my precious! I really hope that you've loved the present and the birthday card which I had declared that it aint a love letter! laughs.. It really wasnt ok.. I know the card is corny.. but idiot! stop laughing.. Ive spent so much sleepless nights to finish it.. lol.. but anyway.. I hope you did enjoyed your birddae! (: no more late nights rushing to finish your card! =S though it may be a quiet and peaceful birthday unlike your previous birthdaes, Im was really worried that you would feel bored this year. but most importantly, its not how much ive spend, or how much effort ive placed in for your birthday card. I just want you to realise that no matter what happens, no matter its normal days or special occassions, happy or sad. im here. i dunno what i am to you, but to me, you are my world. (: its hard to pen it all down. but thank you making my life complete. seeing and hearing you beam for all. thats all ive asked for, from deep down inside. i love you sweetie! (: i do not care about what happened in the past, i pay attention to the present, and im creating our future. are you with me? baby, we'll one step at a time, dont we? |
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |
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This is the first time ever that I have my name like this printed out with my own desk. lol. By far this is the biggest organization Ive ever worked for I guess. laughs.
an overview of my table! =D
The inside. =D Remove the Old Chang Kee from your sight please.
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