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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Jean, 29091988I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Exits
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©Glamouresque. |
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I hate the issue. Really. From the time things happened till now. Its almost three years. I dun hate the man. Ive forgiven on that point. It's just that when I look back into those times of the darkest period, I felt really upset and unhappy. As at that time, Im not fortunate enough to have responsible people to look after me. In fact, even adults are really irresponsible. I hate it. some issues that happened around became discussing topics between me and b'fren. Unlike others, he's a responsible man, but too bad I had met him earlier. I wouldnt need to pull through so much pain, ALONE. and where I have to go through really bad physical, mental pain and torture, others would only have to pull through their emotions. so whats yours compared to mine? here, Im not being proud of myself or what-so-ever. Its just that, whats wrong has been wrong and dont even make the same mistake again. We make mistakes everyday here and there, its inevitable. Some mistakes Humans are able to make them a couple of times. Some mistakes you cant afford even to make them once but since there is spilled milk, use a piece of cloth and wipe it off. The floor is clean again. Life still has to go on. Isnt it? sadly to say, it brings a scar. Im not sure if it applies to everyone, but for me, Yes. I can forget how to count 1+1, but I dun think I would even forget where the place is even when I grow old. So, this was the darkest period that Ive been through, MYSELF. Sad enough to remember that, really. till this very day, I could still tear over the issue. the phyiscal and emotional pain, is inbearable. really. It really took me pretty long, to get issues over. till this era, laugh-able but true, some people still cant accept this. I really don't know why. is it good to be traditional at times? Whatever is it past is past, never would anyone wish or wanted such things to happened, dont they? goodness. LOVE someone, accept all their past, embrace who they are in the present. its the past that nurtures one to be who he/she is now, and thats the he/she that you loved now. so why get bothered about history? **the above entry is not pointing fingers at any particular person. DONT get sensative, DONT get paranoid. Its just based on personal opinions and thinkings.** anyway, i think my health is getting from bad to worst, even though Im having my meals regularly. so tell me whaads wrong with me again. my breathing difficulty is coming back every night. I wish to see b'fren tonight. I want to give him a big tight hug and tell him 'I Love You.' Im happy as who I am now, and I dont look back into the past anymore. its all over as long as my b'fren is with me. he's my drinkin' buddy, he's my slackin' khaki, he's my listenin' ear, he's my advisor. So, I have an all-in-one b'fren. Who needs another? I dont! laughs. (: |
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |
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