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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Jean, 29091988I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
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Friday, October 31, 2008
i had dinner with vin, hud and guan that day at Sakura. They've con me down to Bugis, hud went emo and insisted dinner at Sakura Orchard. so we cab down. (: dinner was fun. wahahhaa.. check out on the games that we had played and the dares that Guan has to eat for twice! I'll upload the video soon for your entertainment.. stay tuned, esp Guan! =D work has been tiring these few days. baby has given so much love that he sees me every night, even skipped class. hello weekends! Tuesday, October 28, 2008
life's a crap. if only family is a little richer. I guess I can really do things that I wanted to. all i can now is just to provide the best enviornment for the younger ones to live in. not to be despise by their classmates, not to be mocked at, to at least have their heads lift up a little higher than they used to. do they even learn or appreciate in the first place. so what about myself. life seems normal but it's empty inside. how do you describe those feelings? Life's a bitch, so am I. laughs. what is it that I am really out for after all these years. Ive thought that Ive found the answer, but in fact till this very day, it is still the biggest question mark ever. why do you always have to put me down. i do wish that you were a little more encouraging at times. words that you've said dont make me feel better. in fact, making me feel that whatever i've decided for myself is always wrong. im speaking like a little girl. laughs. thanks again. so did you even understand what ive been through to who i am today. or again, im just like the poser who is trying to catch some attention. haha! goodnight people. Im exhausted but i cant sleep. so, are all these considered as stress? lol.. Wednesday, October 22, 2008
ok. i officially miss DSB. laughs. Night out with vin, guan and hudson made my day. without any sleep the previous day, ive agreed for a mug or two. in the end, it ends up to 4 jugs. =D hud was so in the clear state of mind, that when he saw b'fren walking past Iguana to look for me, he shouted, 'KENNETH!'. and with the nipples... they were the jokes of the year.. goodness.. haha... chatted, laughed, angry-ed. all has been said out. but looking at those drunken ass (eg, guan and hud) got us laughing all the way. b'fren came to pick me up. which makes me melt further. (: we had a good talk that night, all has been solved. im happy! b'fren then accompanied me the whole day after that. its so hard being angry with the fella. what a spell he had casted on me. evil man. ok dudes, when are we ALL meeting again. i freakingly need Sentosa. Sunday, October 19, 2008
i hope i am not thinking too much. so where did the pile of trust went too? laughs. such a good one. Friday, October 17, 2008
know what? 10 more days would be my 9th month-sary with b'fren. (: This is how time fast time flies. by this upcoming Chinese New Year. We are offically 1 year old. it has always been like the same old days where we play, have fun, chit-chat, rot together. and I guess. Im falling in love with him all over again. there isnt any other better way to make me smile other than seeing him. i felt so reliant on him. ): I would only feel safe when Im with him. I can only shut my eyes off and have a good deep sleep when Im in his arms. b'fren has always been around with me whenever I need him to. through all my ups and downs, when Im sick, when Im tired, when Im sad, when Im having terrible days to get things over. He's always there for me. just like what he had promised me from the day we started off. He's a man of his words. Im in love with a wonderful man. (:  on the other view. what happened to all the friends. everyone seemed to have vanished into thin air. laughs. or rather, am I drifting away from the everything out there. Everyday seems like a ritual to me. but im contented. I have enough rest, enough money to spend, enough time for my family, enough time to be loved by b'fren. Life's simple, nice and sweet. Mentally has been settled down for now. no more drinkings and clubbings like those good old days. I cant even stay awake for late nights now. Im been refraining myself from the outside world. Im lazy. haha. work's alright but annoying too. laughs. Im starting to have plans to study again. (: so sickening. but its ok. everything's still under control. Jean's not dead yet! (: Tuesday, October 14, 2008
i lost my previous template. gonna find a new one SOON and update. for now. things look fine on the surface. i dislike staying at home. it makes me feel insecure. it makes me nervous at times. it makes my imagination grow crazy. it makes me lose myself. baby's right. I need to get over this myself too. but... Thursday, October 09, 2008
but for this time, I didnt shed a single tear. I felt it all. thanks for holding my hands through this darlin. Ill stop blogging for awhile. (: Wednesday, October 01, 2008
im very lazy and tired to blog. Give me some time ok! =D |
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |
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