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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Jean, 29091988I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
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©Glamouresque. |
Thursday, November 27, 2008
i had a little too much beer last night. i was crying bitterly. but i had too. keeping all inside doesnt really help in the end. i really had to thank those who were with me last night. be it giving up work or not resting at home though sick or breaking the limit to drink when one is not suppose to, just to accompany me. watch me drink, sing, whine, cry. sigh. i dunno how to express my love for you all silly idiots. really love you guys la! hearts! valentina! i know you will read this lill space of mine. just want to thank you for always encouraging me. you are such a sweet girl and your bf is really a very fortunate man to have you by his side. thanks for the one text msg you sent me ytd night. (: PS. I will be better off with camen. lol!!! (camen says he will blog this too! hahahhahah) i dunno what i should do now. please teach me. Wednesday, November 26, 2008
im going to DRINK it all out TONIGHT! (: lets go dudes.. is the end coming to an end soon? i wish i could jump down now. really. Monday, November 24, 2008
hello earthlings. its monday again. its back to work and life. YAWNS. i had a fulfilling weekend. sat morning was work, met Camen in the noon to get some things done. den to batok to get my stuffs done. its a long story to go. felt mentally and physically tired after the whole day. meet b'fren after that, had quite alot of beer and i broke into tears, i couldnt take that anymore. i was trying to control those emotions all along. laughs. b'fren had a real hard time pacifying me. the more he speaks, the harder i cried. =D My puffy saggy red eyes made me fall asleep damn fast after that. nothing much. im going to apply for leave and have a long break soon. i'll be heading for gym after work with b'fren later! (: your name appeared twice. make it thrice in my life. and i'll let you flip. trust me you shameless bitch. Saturday, November 22, 2008
work has been really hectic for this week and Im really exhausted. This would have to drag till the end of the year. I really prayed for this year to end quickly and awaits for the new year to come. yet on the other hand, im having insufficient time to complete all my tasks to meet deadlines. I really need to club it all out. really. I've lost myself. who i am now is not who i used to be. there's good and bad. it just that i refuse to take it down to the fact that this is the life that i am leading. the old me has die-ed off. jumping up and down, running here and there. Life's never the same anymore. I'm happy with b'fren. but other than that, I cant find those cheerfulness back again. I'm not laughing as much as I used to, I'm not as friendly as I used to. To be frank, i've realised that i've shut myself out from alot of things and people out there. its really contridicting. tell me if this is a good sign. it may be a part of growing into adulthood stage of life. but, i dunno. something seems to be lacking. or am i just pretending to be someone whom i am not. hopes and dreams of life. so what are they. are hopes really just hopes. and dreams are dreams that happen when you are sleeping with your body resting and brains still working? i dun even know what i am working now for. though work's both great and boring. its contridicting too. its just so hard to describe in words. b'fren spoke to me last night. and bombed me with an 'out-to-the-space' question. i was stunned to the maximum i swear, but i hid my emotions. that question makes me ponder and set me thinking non-stop again. the conversation still rang in my head till this very moment. it kind of scared me. i just hope he didnt remember what he said or things will get pretty ugly. im really really heartbroken, that till this very day. you are still not the one who understands me the best. on the account that i really do love you, i'll try to pull it through with you once again. he's trying his best to protect me and give it all i want. thats very nice, and thats why i love him so much. (: OK! emotions getting real hay-wired at this point of blog-entry. Jean's signing off. Good day! there is not much issues between us, 'cause the problems doesnt lie with us. do you see it? Monday, November 17, 2008
most people would probably think and feel that im leading my life happily now. so, who understands all the back stage scenes? the mental stress and shows that I have to deal with. ha! Welcome to the jokes of life dude! Sunday, November 16, 2008
We once saw this snail climbing up the wall. Its just a normal snail I would say, crawling slowly after a long rainy day. So whats so special about this snail?  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  It is as huge as a 250ml beer can!!The Beauty of Mother nature. Hello folks. Had been missing for sometime. did anyone missed me? laughs. anyway, here's some of the events and random pictures that took place for the past few days. (: 14 Nov, Friday David's birthday Chalet at Costa Sands. The drunk birthday boy.     15 Nov, Sat Grandma's 87th birthday  Random Random! (:  B'fren bought this new jungle hat that day and was playing with it. lol.Sigh, B'fren has been busy for the whole day for his grandfather funeral. My deepest condolences. Saturday, November 08, 2008
如果你不爱一个人, 请放手. 好让别人有机会爱她. 如果你爱的人放弃了你, 请放开自己, 好让自己有机会爱别人. 有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的, 有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的. 人生中有许多种 . 但别让自己为一种伤害. 有些缘分是注定要失去的, 有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的, 爱一个人不一定要拥有, 但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱她. 男人哭了是因为他真的爱了. 女人哭了是因为她真的放弃了. 如果真诚是一种伤害, 我选择谎言; 如果谎言一种伤害, 我选择沉默; 如果沉默是一种伤害, 我选择离开. 如果失去是苦， 你怕不怕付出 , 如果迷乱是苦， 你会不会选择结束, 如果追求是苦， 你会不会选择执迷不悟 , 如果分离是苦， 你要向谁倾诉, 好多事情都是后来才看清楚, 好多事情当时一点也不觉得苦! just some meaningful words! (: happy loving everyone! Friday, November 07, 2008
haiya!! . . . . . . . . . . . . laughs. nothin'. no pictures yet for you. lazy la can. (: Yesterday after work, rushed down to The Cathay for movie with vin, hud, raymond & xiaodi. Camen working. Joe skating. Guan working. Leonard dunno-ing. Kenny dun wan come-ing. Charles Mia-ing. Pathetic! DSB is dying. always complain I'm never free to meet you poops. Now I still dont see full attendance. Sigh.. blah! ok, we watched 'Quantum Of Solace'. James Bond's HOT! like damn hot really!
Dinner at Plaza Singapura, and I headed back to the east to meet b'fren. the guys then continued their night out. b'fren picked me up at the interchange, brought me for supper, and send his precious home for bed. (: poor boy got himself roasted, being a caddy for the past few days, carrying heavy golf bags up and down. lol. oh! I've caught another movie. 'REC' on Hawolleen Night. Some French budget show, omg. the horror scenes are so gore and disgusting. cant stand it. but its fun ah. alot of girls starts screaming in the middle of the show. 3/4 of the scenes of the whole movie is just inside this building. Watch this and you would know why I called it a 'budget' show. laughs. so guys out there who wants the bring some girls for some scary nights so they can embrace in you. hahhaah! bring them to this show! 3.5/5 stars for REC!  It's Friday! boss is not at work, Im going Bugis for lunch in 20 mins time! and most importantly, I can see b'fren for longer hours! (: Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Some random old pictures that Ive found. Dinner on a random night @ Astons with b'fren.  FYI, he enjoyed squeezing those chilli sauce on his plate and he happily wrote those.The Belated simple 20' birthday dinner.  A damn sinful but 2 thumbs up dinner!MORE coming up soon to revive the dead blog! (: Im dying of fatigue. seriously lacking of sleep nowadays. ohwell. Had a quick dinner at Ajisen with b'fren yesterday evening at Tampines Mall. We saw a bunch of students over at Pasta Mania celebrating birthdays. it kind of brings us back to years ago when we were each wearing our own uniforms and having fun. laughs. sweet memories. after which, we proceeded off to Telly and Valerie's house carpark to wash car. I was so shag-ged out that after waxing Little Yellow, I doze off in the seats. laughs. b'fren then send me home for my little bed. (: Looking at my calendar, Ive pretty lots of things coming up for November and December!
TADA! its 1st of January 2009! I love year ends! lots of Public Holidays! =D but I guess in between, I would have tons of work to finish. and I'm sssoOOOooooOOOoooo excited for Andy Lau's concert! call me a turtle or whatever, but this would be the FIRST time im going to watch LIVE! and of cos', with b'fren too! ok, i'll have to admit that its not alot of things up my calendar, but it seems pretty packed. I guess Mum would have to start nagging at me again for not having time to accompany her again. laughs. oh! did I mentioned that I saw XX at Tampines Mall yesterday? laughs. I shall keep further comments to myself and I. Im not really a fan of hers but I do read her blog once in a blue moon when I'm bored. So this morning, I popped by her blog and I read this. how she rant and rant on issues. laughs. goodness. blah! drop her topic! Anyways! b'fren has classes tonight, so Im gonna be home early this evening and receive some love from mum! and Im going to post some outdated photos and videos soon. =D stay tuned. DSB dinner this thursday dudes? we gonna have more eye balls! message me! (: Monday, November 03, 2008
Im very upset. I cant even study part time. Called up SIM's part-time courses hotline. Firstly, the intake for Jan 2009 is closed. Secondly, I have to be 21 to be able to study part time. so what the hell is this. i have to delay and delay and delay. this sucks totally. together with news that i was updated on other stuffs. upsets me even more. I hate today. screwed. |
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |
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But I was rather disappointed. The show wasnt really nice as what I've expected it to be. Lots of actions, but a sucky plot, storyline and ending.