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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Jean, 29091988I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Exits
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©Glamouresque. |
Friday, April 24, 2009
Had supper with vin yesterday night. Inital plan was to meet up in town, but we ended up having bak chor mee @ Bedok 85. A quick heads up on stuff that is happening to my little friends on the other end of Singapore. Sigh. If only I could live my life 25% slower like their lives. Which sadly, is never possible. I was browsing through the old posts of mine and a handful of others. Come to think of it, I do wish that now, I still possess the ability to refuse facts in front of me. I know I could do that easily last time. How stubborn I was in the past, everyone knew. How I would never do things that I dislike, how I would refuse people even though they knew me the best. I would just simply refuse all of them, get blinded by my ownself and carried on with my life. laughs. If only I could be like the old me, just 30%. I would believe that I would at least be happier right now. and not resorting to type this post, to communicate the emotions that I am feeling now. Well I guess, its just another different stage of life that I've to go through. Struck down by reality that I have to work something out for myself in order to give others around me a better life. How much would they appreciate? Even if they dont, thats my responsibility. I still cant accept the fact that I've been for working them 9 months plus, going to a year in August. How time flies isn't it. Now, Im plucking the courage to dump in my resignation letter after my colleague did. 'cause I simply cant hold it any longer. I do not want to live those days anymore, having to wake up everyday thinking when the volcane's gonna erupt, where the land mine is being planted, if all the things had been done, why had i made those mistakes, why is this done like this... and the list could just go on and on. Non stop. I do not want to pull myself to work everyday fearing that my life and reputation is at risk. My ears and brains need a break from all the mental stress and load that were given from the last few months. I want to act irresponsibly now. But I just cant bring myself to do it. SCREWED! nevertheless, I am going for interview later. wish me luck. (: to johngoh, do you realise that our 1 year 3 mths anniversary is this upcoming Monday?! |
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |
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