Freedom of Speech & Space

2010-03-29T09:55:00.002+08:00

I know nobody watches this space now. So here I am. Out-of-blue, suddenly just have the urge to post something.

Know what, I shouldnt have done that. Now, I feel the urge to go back there. Im poisoned!

2009-12-16T04:15:00.002+08:00

its has been 4 mths ever since i last updated this space.

this space seems to be like totally mine now again because it is just so dead. So dead that nobody remembers how lively it was in those days.

it seems like during days like this, i suddenly remembered this space. Today is the day that I made a choice. till the extend that a person's life and death seemed to be in my hands, and that freaked me out totally. Im really at my wits end.. I dunno what I shld do..

Hi Jean.. Its you and me again.. Welcome back to Life.. (:

2009-08-15T01:39:00.001+08:00

Ive never let my blog rot for so long before I guess. HELLO EVERYONE! I think no one missed me.. there is nothing on my tagboard. laughs. No one cares about Jean anymore la!

I will see you at the top. Its time for some decision making. (:

2009-07-13T01:55:00.002+08:00

I've abandoned this little space for quite some time. updates to come soon I hope, when I have the time. (:

Can someone help me look for a spouse like him?

2009-06-23T15:25:00.003+08:00

okayyyy!!! I really had fun over the past one week. all the places that ive went and the food that ive eaten really makes me a happy girl. and of cos, the companion makes everything perfect! ((:

the last picture is super random. Im using a new program on my G phone! =D

Thats all folks, im plainly lazy to blog everything here. hahaha. I gonna work hard from tmr onwards! JIAYOU!

2009-06-11T16:54:00.006+08:00

Im officially jobless. And almost a week just went by, days without work do past by rather quickly. In fact, I do have a couple of jobs waiting for me. I do still have my value, dont I. laughs.

Well, Ive did quite a bit of stuffs for the past few days. I felt like a happy little girl. and I would dare say, I hadnt felt like this for the longest time.

Its always work, work, and more work throughout the past four years of my life.

A cup of Oreo berry drink, some potato wedges, a walk down to 'durian', down the river, holding the cigarette and chatting away. Im taking life slow for once. A good 5 years when we all last met, everything felt like those good old days back then. Yea, I couldnt describe everything that I felt. 8 years and going, for once, I felt real long lost friendship.

OKAY! enough of those. anyway, Im hooked on this. like Really really.

If I can find a guy like the following below, John Goh's life would be at risk!

2009-06-04T00:53:00.000+08:00

有时，执着也未必是对的事。

2009-06-03T01:37:00.002+08:00

okay, Im suppose to be sleeping. I am very sleepy, I want to sleep, but I want to blog also, yet my brain is blocked and I dunno what I want to blog about. wa lau. this is damn lame I swear. Hence Im typing this entry for the sake of blogging and I'll head off to bed.

3 more working day to my last day of 'service' at Aljunied Road. I cant wait to tell everyone how nicely my boss had been treating me, even for the last week of work. But its okay, welcome to the realistic working world. Want to climb the corporate ladder? then you have got to endure this. More updates soon after this week I think, and its time for a new start.

不是这样的

Are you sure you are willing to accept those imperfections that were supposingly to be perfect?
oh god, I really need to stop watching those dvds. laughs.

2009-05-25T14:50:00.003+08:00

I've officially 9 more working days till my last day of service. So please, let it be a smooth one. Mood's getting lighter these days, feeling so much less tense than how I used to when I wake up for work every morning. (:

There is so much things I want to do but I think no one is free to accompany me. Somemore Vin is now overseas, win le lo. Vin told me without him around still can look for Camen. LOL! I doubt so la! haha

I want to

Rollerblade
go to Sentosa tan, drink, chill
go to JB for walk and many seafood.

I need to buy

new shoes
new office wears
new watch

I want to be a gold digger! roars! ):

2009-05-20T13:42:00.004+08:00

I mentioned that there is this FB stalker right. Here is he.
He forever likes whatever I am doing on FB. and he insisted.

and still insists when I dont reply.

LOL. Please get a life.

2009-05-17T11:52:00.003+08:00

Had a shock on sat night, some shits happened but its over (again). Yea, I forgave him once again. Im gonna really slap myself hard in the face if this were to happen again. I swear. Anyway, I had just injured my right hand. A piece of skin just ripped off from my palm. Thank God it didnt bleed.

Im gonna be a lone ranger tmr. My one and only colleague had left me for the better. I have to struggle 3 more weeks before all my misery ends. its gonna be hell for me till the very last day.

Angels and Demons is the shit. I damn like the show. though it took the bf sometime to understand the whole show. But I've never understood why my favourite writer Phin only rated the show 2.5/5! laughs.

Randomness: okay, its seems like I've a FB stalker here. 0.0

2009-05-11T10:52:00.002+08:00

I want a NEW START!

I cant wait for my last day to come. On the accord that she was nice initially when I came, Im going to end my 'service' with everything nicely done, as much as I could. OK! I shall not start ranting again. Its Monday morning. and Im super hungry.

My last day of service would be early June I think. Im gonna start looking for jobs all over again, take a good break and come back again. I know I can do it. Bf always thought that Im having a simple and easy life at work. But he would never understand everything. I've never bothered to tell him much about work too, because I believe that what I am doing is right and I am able to handle. (:

Its still a long journey to go. I have to endure.

2009-05-07T18:39:00.000+08:00

Say bye bye to Aljunied Road in a months time!

SHAKE SHAKE!

2009-05-03T23:58:00.002+08:00

I didnt really had fun on Sat. Most of them were like drunk. Ended up looking after them. Im not complaining. Just that a sentence was put acrossed to me.. a sentence that I had tried to deny for ages. That sets me thinking again. But still, I am always thinking. I would never come to a decision. why?

2009-05-02T13:30:00.010+08:00

Obar on Thursday night with Ying Ling and David to add life to the boring night. (:

I want more! ):

2009-04-29T22:45:00.002+08:00

I still feel that her existence is creating a barrier. But Im feeling better these days. I just dont want her to come between us again. ever. 'cause I do not want to resort to ways that I had refused to for ages.

2009-04-27T15:05:00.005+08:00

ok! was chatting with alvino just now. He agreed with me that I should post this up.

Wishlist 1 for 21st B'dae

Bring me to Farmway @ Pasir Ris and buy me the puppy that I like the most!

hahahahahahaha.

okay, I know. Its time to wake up. I know Im no longer young to be that willful anymore. ):

2009-04-25T00:17:00.000+08:00

I miss Mr bf, who is studying now.

2009-04-24T09:40:00.003+08:00

Had supper with vin yesterday night. Inital plan was to meet up in town, but we ended up having bak chor mee @ Bedok 85. A quick heads up on stuff that is happening to my little friends on the other end of Singapore. Sigh. If only I could live my life 25% slower like their lives. Which sadly, is never possible.

I was browsing through the old posts of mine and a handful of others. Come to think of it, I do wish that now, I still possess the ability to refuse facts in front of me. I know I could do that easily last time. How stubborn I was in the past, everyone knew. How I would never do things that I dislike, how I would refuse people even though they knew me the best. I would just simply refuse all of them, get blinded by my ownself and carried on with my life. laughs. If only I could be like the old me, just 30%. I would believe that I would at least be happier right now. and not resorting to type this post, to communicate the emotions that I am feeling now.

Well I guess, its just another different stage of life that I've to go through. Struck down by reality that I have to work something out for myself in order to give others around me a better life. How much would they appreciate? Even if they dont, thats my responsibility.

I still cant accept the fact that I've been for working them 9 months plus, going to a year in August. How time flies isn't it. Now, Im plucking the courage to dump in my resignation letter after my colleague did. 'cause I simply cant hold it any longer.

I do not want to live those days anymore, having to wake up everyday thinking when the volcane's gonna erupt, where the land mine is being planted, if all the things had been done, why had i made those mistakes, why is this done like this... and the list could just go on and on. Non stop. I do not want to pull myself to work everyday fearing that my life and reputation is at risk. My ears and brains need a break from all the mental stress and load that were given from the last few months. I want to act irresponsibly now. But I just cant bring myself to do it. SCREWED!

nevertheless, I am going for interview later. wish me luck. (:

to johngoh, do you realise that our 1 year 3 mths anniversary is this upcoming Monday?!

2009-04-18T02:12:00.001+08:00

maybe its really time to learn, to stop evolving my life around you.

2009-04-16T01:17:00.001+08:00

I know I need to get down to the root of the problem to solve all these. but at the end of the day, I turned back and asked myself. so, what IS the problem?

2009-04-13T22:33:00.005+08:00

it wasnt the 'biggest fear'. something that has been with me for years. I had no choice back then, neither do i have a choice now. for repeating the same mistake twice, i really regret till this very day. every night, i fear of turning in to bed, i fear darkness, so? nothing could make up to my mistakes, nothing could bring them back. suffering in the midst of the two different dimensions of the world, i could almost feel the pain that no one could feel. i think they had decided, to stay along with me.

yet nothing's smooth. getting real sick of my job, money came in and flow out the next minute. im really dying to leave the place. i need something else to break free. lets not be insane.

being crazy and paranoid seems to be the key. this seriously cant go on. everything just cant go out of the brains. please tell me what wrong with my world. do you know that i cant feel him with me anymore. every word and sentence that was said, im still hesitating of whats real and whats not. is it the right way.

I am not being emo, this is exactly how I feel. Please bring me back to the right path of life.

2009-04-07T23:16:00.002+08:00

the biggest fear of my life is here. I didnt know it will come so fast. I didnt expect at all. Im not ready at all. what if I cant escape.

what ifs and what ifs. Im gonna face it alone. by myself.

2009-04-01T10:55:00.004+08:00

After i brought up the topic with you, you kept silent throughout the night, not breathing any single word more on the issue, you chose to smoke it over. Thats you. You knew what was wrong, but you kept feigning ignorance. Blame it on your over-not-sensativeness and blame it on my over-sensativeness. But I just cant trust you on this. KL trip? have fun.

Speak about 'will gain my trust back again', speak about 'will think before i speak next time', speak about 'sorry for not considering your feelings'. Blindly, I could just named all these out. What about you. what had you fulfilled till this point? I really appreciate it for fetching me down to A&E (after a tiff apparently), but you were so soundly asleep throughout the few hours beside me, seriously does it makes any difference with me taking a cab down myself from home? I cant even tell you that Im in pain. then?

This weekend, ima going to drink, get drunk and get wasted before everything blew off my mind. DSB would be my great companions.

So, please stop taking me, my patience and my love for granted.

I just puked out all the food i had this morning. thumbs up!

2009-03-31T01:23:00.002+08:00

Im down with food poisoning. A serious and not-so-serious case. Got myself a jab and a full bag of medication. work's accumulating but i need to pull myself into a better shape first before i could do anything. physically and mentally.

just when im really learning to build the trust again, you are going off over this weekend. so someone please fucking teach me, how not to let my imagination run wild.

2009-03-30T01:16:00.003+08:00

whats happening to all my best buddies?
我真的看不下去了

2009-03-27T10:23:00.002+08:00

Relationship is never just about lust and being passionate.

so what do we see in each other exactly? Probably its time to sit down and have a good think.
Esp when your heart is STILL so concerned about the other.

but you whispered you loved me.

2009-03-26T13:37:00.002+08:00

i had a terrible nightmare. everything seems so real and near to me. i jumped up from my bed in the middle of the night. i was so terrified that i couldnt sleep after that and i did not go to work today.

please, i need to go out. really.

2009-03-26T00:43:00.002+08:00

okay, Bali's out.

As much as I've wanted to make use of this chance to start afresh, I cant again. Though I've expected this to come, but Im still ya, a little upset I should say. But due to the fact that its really not practical and really too much waste of money unlike what we had expected it to be, no choice.

I really really need days off from work. to sleep and rot, den sleep and rot, den sleep and rot. like those nest days 'cause I cant stand my hectic life any longer.

2009-03-23T09:34:00.003+08:00

Okays, time for some quick updates after not blogging for a couple of days.

We are fine for now. I’ve thought it through over the past few nights. My relationship and personal life definitely worth much more than this and I believe, I can work things out to achieve more. I should not waste my time worrying and sobbing over issues that ain’t my fault at all. At least, I did not do anything against my conscience. He did showed, that whatever I’ve done, has not gone down the drain. Even if it does, I should leave with no regrets for this relationship. Things had turned its way round and we are back together again, awaiting for the one year two months anniversary to arrive this Friday, and hopefully, bali next Tuesday.

Tony’s house party for Elvin was great. Beer, sake and champagne were the mixture for me that night, but I seemed to maintain pretty sober at the end of the day. One party - I’ve seen people of people talents/motives/characters through a few hours. We have people getting drunk very early and sleeping in one corner, we have people drinking and showing all the attraction to another individual, we have people drinking and throwing their asses around, blah and blah. It’s the nature of life. Humans are never perfect. So am I. The things that I’ve gone through these years, may have resulted in the certain expectations I have out of life and people around me. So should I keep the expectations? Or again, is it being unfair to my loved ones, especially him? I’m still searching for my perfect answer.

For now, I love him as of Day One and it had never changed. I need to rebuild my confidence back in him and again, please allow me to have more time.

2009-03-20T11:39:00.002+08:00

I knew i would forgive him. I knew this day would come. But everything still burns strongly as though that all happened just yesterday. he is trying his best. but again, how much of them are true? Im learning very hard to build my trust in you again and I would not be able to bear any heartaches again, I'll just fade off. I dun need any more drama in my side. so if you are still acting in the drama, I'll beg you to get off my back and i would need to rest. your words were never strong enough for me to turn back. But I love you, so I did. Then came second time. and the third. this is really unlikely of me. all the pressure im going through for this relationship. do you even understand? or rather, do you even know that im undergoing such pressure? but then again, I love you. and i handled all the emotions myself. Never once did i ever blame you about anything nor told you anything. Cant you even see it? Relationship is more than what you know. probably its time for you to learn.

Im feeling as though im living in her shadows. someone please tell me why.

I'll give it all up. If i really have to. and i seriously mean it. thats who I am.

2009-03-19T09:34:00.002+08:00

looking back at all that had happened for the past three days, it all seems like a joke, a drama. i have to admit, that i had forgiven him. Nat's right, Females tend to forgive easily but takes longer period to forget, vice versa for Men. the whole incident is crap, just plainly crap. anyone who knew what happened, would just simply tell me off saying, its just bullshits and craps Jean.

I've made things cleared enough, cross my path again, and we'll see.

2009-03-17T17:55:00.001+08:00

alright. im still in office. gonna be stuck here till late. im surprised that without sleeping for one night and no food for more than 12 hours till now, i can still work till this extreme. haha. what about sneaking out for a beer or two later alone tonight after everyone is asleep. sounds great.

2009-03-17T08:37:00.007+08:00

so here i am. sitting at my desk for the start of the 2nd day of the week only. I really did not sleep at all. I've tossed and turned like a million times but my eyes refuses to close. real frustrating. and to realise, i do not have any food since yesterday morning's $2.50 MacDonald's value meal and my strawberry meiji yoghurt during lunch. thats all for the day. no other food except for beer who is the ultimate best friend of mine eventually. eyes are like puffer fish but its okay. okay Jean. its time to move on. try at least.

Im freezing my facebook and MSN for the time being. its too much for me to take overnight. Im really exhausted. I cant live with a man, who shouts at me and threatens me. you are not my step-father. dun sound like him please. is it really that hard? i guess ive just expected too much out of this whole thing. whatever it is, its too late now.

Im not really a huge fan of hers, but yea. I quite like this song. Please send me this song if anyone has it.

石欣卉 - 你没想像中爱我

你小心翼翼牵我手

其实是担忧藏不住

我自尊也投降活在她之下

我好傻

你字字句句说你不爱她

那又是什么让你害怕

我疑惑但是原谅因为你留下

我好傻

不是我不说就不在意空等候

原来你没想像中那么爱我

我不懂该拿什么安慰我的难受

你的存在让我更寂寞

你寸步不离像天使的她

挥霍我的爱从不放心上

我有一丝无奈也有一些明白

该放开

不是我不说就不在意空等候

原来你没想像中那么爱我

我不能再从你的怀抱感觉到什么

不爱我别再说假装爱那是撒盐在伤口

2009-03-17T05:28:00.001+08:00

i have not caught a wink at all. and im ready for work in the next 2 hours. so much for the 1yr 2mths anniversary. it has all ended.

2009-03-16T16:50:00.003+08:00

this would finally decide if i am still going bali or not. Tonight will also decides my faith and trust for you. Tonight ultimately decides if I were to leave or stay. thats it. i had enough.

2009-03-11T23:56:00.002+08:00

im still trying. every word and sentence that was said to me, i cant help but to think which's real. i dunno, its just a bad scar. just like that one on my right hand. but thats a physical one. probably some things need a change. the lifestyle has to change. i guess he deserves more freedom than he has now rather having to see my face for almost everyday.

sometimes i wonder again. what is it that makes one cherish. when till its gone?

xiaoGuan was chatting with me just now. why all the words seems to rebounce back to me? cheer up lill boy! (:

Cant read my, cant read my, No he cant read my poker face. thats true.

2009-03-10T17:04:00.002+08:00

As I face my workstation, Im getting more and more restless. that should not be the way, that should be the case. I've trillion tasks piling up my in-tray. but its just so hard to get it started. I dunno whats in the load that I'm feeling. I just know its hard to concentrate. So many 'what-ifs' appeared in my brains, with all the mega big question marks. its was not easy for me to build my total trust for you. but I did. yes. I still pondering over this, I'm still feeling disappointed, I'm still hesitating. do you even understand what I am after for in life. do you even understand how i feel and think towards different issues. i dun want fancy gifts. i dun need them. i need a man, loves who i am, learns me like a book, honest and loyal. so are you sure you are the one?

at this very moment, she still pins her hopes on you. believe?

please tell me when this is going to ever end.

2009-03-08T13:07:00.002+08:00

I just cant get the incident out of my mind. As much as I wanted to, I really cant believed it happened. Too shocked at the point of time to think of anything else. After dropping Godfather a visit, I thought that everything had changed for the better. I was so overwhelmed over the things I've heard, not the details, but the fact that I've got the right one for myself. and what happened? it almost felt as if a lighted cigarette had burnt a hole in the middle of a piece of white paper. the hole burns slowly turning into a larger hole each second. though you had already apologised, but the things that you've said, sets me down thinking on which are the sentences that are really the exact words that came out from you. and now im having second thoughts of going bali. was it even worthly after all has been done. i cant sleep last night though i was having a terrible headache. our conversation still rings loudly in my brains. if i cant get over it, means i cant face you anymore.

2009-03-02T22:38:00.001+08:00

Baby and myself bought me a pair of Prada new specs!! =D =D =D =D

2009-02-28T10:30:00.002+08:00

Good Sat to all.

Yes, I'm in office, pretty tired. I've my earpiece on (or rather, Camen's mp3), listening to Symphony 92.4FM. Feeling not so tensed at least for now, trying to finish up all my work.

Boss gonna come back on Monday and bomb us with all the work. I had my apprasial last week, boss believed I can handle and she's gonna gimme more. like really more. "Whatever you are doing now, is only the bottom of the iceberg," she said to me. ohwell.

My only 'shk' khaki cum colleague got sacked yesterday. and this is the 2nd person whom got that eversince I'm here. This is scary place. I know boss wont sack me, not for now. I'll flood her with my resignation letter so she will give me a pay raise. laughs.

Caught 'Marley & me' yesterday night @ tampines mall. It was not really an excellent plot/storyline movie, but the nature of the movie and blah just got females walking out of the cinema with puffy red eyes. Laughs. I was one of them. hahhaha.

I need my weekends to be slower, caused Im really exhausted. For the past 2 nights, I had been assisting b'fren to complete his OB individual assignment, that left me with only 4 hours of sleep very night. yawns. that explains why. And it kinds of remind me that thats gonna be the life if UniSIM accepts my application. Which, I've not submitted yet. Hesitating again, plus, my useless and 'cannot-be-seen-by-anyone' cert is still sitting somewhere in the TP Administration office, probably with a thick layer of dust above it. sigh, think I might have to just write an authorisation letter and plead David to help me pick it up from school. tsk.

To DSB number 1 Joe, DUDE! YOU ARE AGING!
happy early birthday!!
Be mentally prepared that I wont be down on Sunday night, 'cause... No more alcohols for me la! Though I would love to and I hardly drink now, but too bad, I've really got work to do on Monday. I know you miss me la. =D

to baby, we are 1 year and 1 month old. mega big hugs. (:

Oh God, I really want to breakfree.

2009-02-18T23:45:00.003+08:00

Had been home early these few days 'cause monkey is studying for his paper on Friday. Its good. Ive finally got to rest a lill more than I used to and slowly think through the list of things that has to be done.

I'm so glad that the event had been a success on 16 Feb @ Sheraton. It was featured in Business Tonight (CNA), Business Times, Straits Times, 938Live blah and blah. Everyone's tired to max after the whole event that day.

Upcoming: Boss is going to be away for 3 days next week, I still have to rush the publication for print, pending press conference next week, 1 more press conference in the following week and Boss mentioned today that there's going to be another event for me to handle. On top of my concurrent work load, I still have all these to handle. SOOO, please tell me that I'm seriously underpaid. laughs.

I need to make new specs when I get my pay this month, 'cause I think I am turning blind slowly. Cut my hair short and dye all those annoying white hair away.

I need to get the driving private instructor and WANTS to pass TP in June.

I need to get b'fren to help me pick up UniSIM's registration form from the office. take 1 day leave to settle my registration stuffs for my degree.

I want to get a pup for SOOOO damn blardy long. but if I'm going for TP den I'll just drop the thought to next year. (again)

thats about it. Im done. and i still need to help b'fren to work on his globalisation individual assignment by 27 Feb. omfg.

2009-02-17T22:57:00.002+08:00

2 issues to be excited about!

I can register for UniSIM in a few hours time
I'm finally able to have a share of 'ahgong's' money

Within 24 hours of Valentines, I've slept, drank chivas, ate KFC and played 5 rounds of mj.

on a side note, Im havin' not enough rest everyday.

2009-02-17T13:38:00.002+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Disappointment
Where Your life is Going
Commitment
Looked down on
Death
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Your score on this personality test was 75%

Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural lead, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

Personality Quiz
Take More Quizzes

What's your inner animal spirit? Your Result: Tiger You are a brave fighter. But you'd prefer to have the upper hand in a fight... Sneak attacks are your strong suit! You can also be a strong lover, someone who (much like a tiger) will stay loyal to your "mate". Grrrr-eat job on the quiz!
Mouse
Lion
Bear
What's your inner animal spirit? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

What Mythical Creature are you? Your Result: Werewolf Werewolves are part human, part beast. They reside in human form until the presence of the full moon, and then transform into a primal beast, that will destroy and ingest anyone and anything in its path. Because of this dual existence, werewolves are often thought of as an entity containing a dual personality. Because of the trauma that is induced from such a treumendous physical change, the human part of the werewolf often does not remember the change or even the events that have passed, and only suffer something of a "hang over" the next day. Some werewolves even live in complete ignorance of their disorder until the very day that they die.
Nymph
Elf
Vampire
Siren
What Mythical Creature are you? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

2009-02-14T08:52:00.002+08:00

So, its 9am now on a shiny Valentines' morning. Im sitting right here in front of my office desktop sneezing and coughing away. unlike last year's valentines which I had so much fun, this year's crapppppp.

dun wanna mention anymore. goodbye.
Happy valentines to my beloved DSB. (:

2009-02-09T20:25:00.000+08:00

Im still stuck at desk at this moment. Having gastrics' not fun at all.

2009-02-08T02:34:00.002+08:00

on a happier note.
I won $58 just now. Played 'si ki pi'. 'BoBo'-ed 3 times. 'Ban lut'-ed 3 times too. hahaha.

Yesterday night after work, was out with vin. I was claimed to be someone who has alot of 'yao qi'. sigh.. Scammed for a free drink but karma came when I placed the drink into my bag and it all spilled over with the strong rose apple smell. caught 'Love Matters' and we laughed till we dropped.

went over to bq for some drinks. Guan and Jevonne came down too. Silly Jevonne was so shy initally. I was so sleepy after the beer that I snoozed on the sofa like Im at home. Dont care la. hahaha.. cabbed over to find b'fren at Moonshine Orchard Towers for second round. Had some real authentic Thai food after drinks. The Tom Yam soup was the best that I ever had before. real hot and spicy! went back to b'fren house and sleep.

I'm trying to get a good rest after long week. Next week's gonna be hectic. Event's coming on 16 Feb and Im the overall in charge of the whole venue and logistics. Had to ensure that everything runs smoothly for the MP. goodness.

I'm trying to get a new blogskin but Im so lazy.

we are 1 year and 18 days old!

2009-02-02T23:48:00.001+08:00

Just like how you've always been in within me.

2009-01-30T09:03:00.002+08:00

I've never received so many emails within 2 days before. here is it. and Im not kidding with the figures captured on my Microsoft Outlook.

Happy Cow Year to all.

and yes, I am going mia.

2009-01-22T12:46:00.003+08:00

work load is only getting heavier.. and never lighter... for weeks after the end of the New Year celebrations.. I've been working on an average of 12 hours or more for everyday. after work, it would be too lazy and tired to eat or go anywhere else..

Thats my life after the New Year had started. I hate it that even when I was turning to sleep last night, I couldnt and work appeared AGAIN, reminding my self of the list of things to be done today. Ive skipped lunch to be in office. but i cant work. I have no appetite to eat at all.

I didnt have enough time to spend with my family. And i still didnt manage to finish my spring cleaning. Though Chinese New Year is approaching.. or rather this Sunday is CNY eve, I dun have time to rest 'cause I need to finish my spring cleaning. This sat morning, I still have to work til afternoon. go back spring cleaning for a few hours, den change and attend my cousin's wedding @ Furama with my family. and days just goes on and on.. even if I was given 48 hours a day, mentally, I couldnt go on.

Everyone's having fun these days, I could sense their joys and excitement. and of cos, happy belated bdae to Charles and Guan. (:

my existence doesnt matter anyway, good job.so why bother? laughs.

I think its time to drop the plans that Ive been planning for some time. I shall continue to do what Im doing everyday. Its time to abandon everything.

goodbye.

2009-01-09T10:13:00.002+08:00

The first official working week of the year got me really tired. Im totally exhausted and drenched out from work. Thanks to the whole week of continous 'partying' and 'holiday-ings' during year end of 2008. b'fren had started school in SIM and he was sweet enough to pick me up from work most of the days this week.

never ending work. end month is the time that ive detest most. the tons and tons of invoices stacked in my in-tray to settle for payment, planning for next issue of publications, news clippings, research and research. blah blah blah.. i could go on forever.

i've made a decision. Im going to enrol for the July intake 09 for SIM. but im not going to take Marketing. im picking up Psychology with Business. Boss says its good. Brandon Chang says its good. Its a good combination and makes an all rounder, they said. They were happy for the choice that ive made. studying for the sake of studying is never the case. So i chose not to continue Marketing and going to give Psychology with Business a shot. Doing things that Ive wanted to do and they are of use. Boss enlightened and straighten my thoughts by throwing me that One word that Ive always been searching for.

Coaching.

ok, it sounds chim. i shall not bore you with those thesis. I dun want to waste time anymore. Im young, I will do what I like and do what I want. I wont let anyone decide my life route for me. (:
happy, like so happy la! the rest of the people that i told, that im going to take Psychology with Business, no one sees the rationale why. they kept putting me down. telling me that you will switch course in no time blah... very hard to study blah... Ive frens studying that then they bth they switch course blah... I hope you wont pick the wrong course blah...

blah all you want. minority is what i want to be. not the majority. i'll do what i want and so what when the time comes i might regret not studying something that i should study. duh! i can always go back and finish Marketing what! tsk. im young = i have time. who knows. i might finish Psychology with Business of 130 Cus and just another 40 Cus for an Honours and also Marketing's degree before 30 years old? I can afford ten blardy years to do that, working at the same time. CAN YOU? (:

but for now. its still work + play + hugging time till Feb at least!

(: (:

2009-01-05T12:21:00.002+08:00

I owe everyone a belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. =D

Im too lazy and tired to blog. I had zillion and 1 things to do everyday. plus mj! wahahha..

2008-12-22T01:24:00.002+08:00

last one whole week was full of work, fun and laughter. Ive enjoyed myself at work. but that does not give me enough reasons to work all my life.

Im too lazy to blog. I had Andy Lau's concert, I had company's Christmas dinner blah and blah. and now im on leave to do all the shopping with mummy to prepare for the upcoming CNY and they spent more than 1/3 of my pay, leaving another pathetic 1/3 again for my bills. and now im freaking left with the last 1/3 of my pay. LOL. whatever.

Im like living everyday aimlessly. I dunno what the hell im doing though i do have fun.

cant help but to think. what is the worth of this pathetic little world when all I can do is so little.

(:

2008-12-09T01:38:00.003+08:00

The Cheap-o Chinatown Singing on Wednesday Night.

vin vin vin!

camen camen camen!

J-N J-N Jassen 1!

Jassen 2! (ah beng also can pose like a slut! lol!)

its the end of the holidays! ): its gonna be back to work in a few hours time. I wished that holidays wont end so soon. REALLLYYYYYY!

PUT YOUR LEFT HAND OUT! PUT YOUR RIGHT HAND OUT!

WHATEVER! WHATEVER!

hahhahaha.... haiya! fun times really flew very fast.. ):

Thanks thanks to vin, camen and jassen for the companion ah! =D

I didnt step out of my house for the one day can. not even a blardy single step. goodness. b'fren was so suprised to hear that too. Must be the darn weather and also the fact that DSB has to study for their papers later on. ):

I miss you. ):

2008-12-05T11:47:00.010+08:00

alright dudes! im back again. actually, I do have lots of things to blog about. but it all went down to the drain because of 2 words. PLAIN LAZINESS!

wahhaa! whatever! DSB dudes had been really fun! =/ but only PART of DSB i can say. and here i go again. WHERE ARE THE REST OF YOU DUDES! tsk! all hiding in their own caves. or probably, they dont wish to see me. ): sighhhh..

wednesday was out to Chinatown with vin camen and jassen. jassen's hairstyle got me and vin laughing the whole night though. hahahah! dinner and went of to buy my stuffs. and we were done by 1930. off for singing!! it was really dirt cheap i tell you!!! 1930hrs to 0000hrs. only $4 7 for the four of us! which is mean $11+ for each of us.. and they provide free flow of non-alcoholic drinks! scream all you want in the room and smoothen your throat with the never-ending honey lemon or juices. hahaha.. we really have fun.

the room is rather small though, with the sofa seat just enough to fit in the small 4 butts of ours. laughs. we blasted the music like our own club! we really turned the room upside down! we sang till 2130 and we were all drenched and tired. The room is almost SOUNDPROOF!! we left the place though we could sing further, as b'fren had came to pick me how. my sweet buddies really accompanied me to where I go or whatever I wanna do. (: they left after sending me off to meet b'fren and went for their own happy sessions! tsktsk! i dont wanna mention where they went to. hint: NOT OUR ERA!

laughs....

im going to see them again this weekend. b'fren is away and Jean will die of randomness. so they were being nice again! (: *jumps!

not much pictures taken. probably a couple of them. Next entry ok!

to the rest of the dsb. dont be jealous ok! who ask you all dont wanna meet me..... =D

Alright. Lets come to something very random.

Be it coming to project research or for entertainment sake, I believe most of us would use Wikipedia here and there. at least once?

One of my colleagues was really bored, came across and showed this to me.

The defination of the word 'Ah Lian'

According to Wikipedia:

Ah Lian is a pejorative term commonly given to a certain group of young Chinese girls in Southeast Asia, especially Singapore and Malaysia. These Chinese girls, whose collective age ranges from their adolescent years to late 20s, are usually centralised in the busier and more developed cities in the region. They are regarded as bimbos, and are stereotyped as anti-intellectual, superficial, materialistic, and shallow.

Ah Lians are commonly stereotyped as having hair dyed in gaudy and bright colours, and attired in fashion mimicking hip-hop culture, or outdated Japanese fashion, although how much of this is true is debatable. Most of Ah Lians are wearing fashions that are out dated and they still have their hair straightened with thick fringe.

They love to take own pictures and imitate the way Japanese girls take their pictures which is by making their eyes look big and puffing their cheeks. Few more examples of the way they take pictures are by putting a horizontal 'Peace sign' on their eye, putting a fist facing outwards on their puffed cheek. Another distinct feature of an Ah Lian is they swear in most of their conversations just like Ah Bengs. Much like their male counterparts - that is, Ah Bengs - Ah

Lians are also thought of as being excessively flashy and show-offs.

The Ah Lian "culture" is especially prevalent in the secular Chinese educational system schools, typified by their frequent use of vulgarities and appearance in cliques (joined by their male counter parts Ah Bengs).

Ah Lians commonly speak in a kind of hybrid mix of Singlish or Manglish and Chinese, or Chinese-related dialects. It is also common for the grammar from these dialects to cross over English usage, creating English phrases with Chinese grammar.

Ah Bengs and Ah Lians love techno music. One can immediately spot an Ah Beng's or Ah Lian's car on the road. Their cars are usually heavily modified with big exhaust pipes, and powerful woofer set at the back of the car. They usually drive very fast while listening to loud techno music in their car.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ah_Lian

wakakakakakaka!

so, for those who fall in any one of the categories here.. CONGRATS! You are qualified Ah Bengs and Ah Lians!! hahahahaha!

omg.. i think my 'cake' is here!! =D =D

till the next time! toodles!!!! (*Shows Peace handsign! hahhaahha!)

2008-12-03T00:04:00.002+08:00

OK! this is a no-work tuesday. =D

this week gonna past real fast. b'fren took me out for a walk in the afternoon. like real. laughs. I told him i wanna go Farmway 1 and 2 to look at puppies. he complained that the place is very smelly and rejected me straight! ): so mean la!!!!

i wanted to get a puppy so badly but he refuses to let me buy. sighhh. probably with a puppy, i would go home earlier everyday to kiss kiss and hug hug it and i wont stay out so late. i think b'fren's afraid that the puppy would catch his limelight and my love away! that must be the real reason man! sigghhhhhhhh.

headed to Parkway at night, supposingly to look for his golf pants but instead he bought me 2 cardigans from Cotton in. =D thank you la!

the rat is off to sleep and im waiting for my hair to dry.

loves!

2008-12-02T00:49:00.002+08:00

bad things had been to a pause for now. everything seems back to be normal.

However, Im diagnosed with a weird 'illness'. with this 'illness', only sunlight can cure. but i would die when i sees sunlight. Dont bother guessing, you wont know what this is unless you are somehow related to this 'illness' too. laughs.

bf's leaving for Penang on Sunday. so thank you, Im going to have a boring Public Holiday myself. DSB would all also mainly be down with examinations. sighhhh. THANK YOU.

im starting to miss those DSB days real badly. is this a good or bad sign. laughs. (:

2008-11-27T10:18:00.003+08:00

i had a little too much beer last night. i was crying bitterly. but i had too. keeping all inside doesnt really help in the end.

i really had to thank those who were with me last night. be it giving up work or not resting at home though sick or breaking the limit to drink when one is not suppose to, just to accompany me. watch me drink, sing, whine, cry. sigh. i dunno how to express my love for you all silly idiots. really love you guys la! hearts!

valentina! i know you will read this lill space of mine. just want to thank you for always encouraging me. you are such a sweet girl and your bf is really a very fortunate man to have you by his side. thanks for the one text msg you sent me ytd night. (:

PS. I will be better off with camen. lol!!! (camen says he will blog this too! hahahhahah)

i dunno what i should do now. please teach me.

2008-11-26T11:27:00.001+08:00

im going to DRINK it all out TONIGHT!

(: lets go dudes..

2008-11-26T02:39:00.001+08:00

is the end coming to an end soon?

i wish i could jump down now. really.

2008-11-24T11:47:00.003+08:00

hello earthlings. its monday again.

its back to work and life. YAWNS.

i had a fulfilling weekend. sat morning was work, met Camen in the noon to get some things done. den to batok to get my stuffs done. its a long story to go. felt mentally and physically tired after the whole day.

meet b'fren after that, had quite alot of beer and i broke into tears, i couldnt take that anymore. i was trying to control those emotions all along. laughs. b'fren had a real hard time pacifying me. the more he speaks, the harder i cried. =D My puffy saggy red eyes made me fall asleep damn fast after that.

nothing much. im going to apply for leave and have a long break soon. i'll be heading for gym after work with b'fren later! (:

your name appeared twice. make it thrice in my life. and i'll let you flip. trust me you shameless bitch.

2008-11-22T11:31:00.005+08:00

work has been really hectic for this week and Im really exhausted. This would have to drag till the end of the year. I really prayed for this year to end quickly and awaits for the new year to come. yet on the other hand, im having insufficient time to complete all my tasks to meet deadlines.

I really need to club it all out. really.

I've lost myself. who i am now is not who i used to be. there's good and bad. it just that i refuse to take it down to the fact that this is the life that i am leading. the old me has die-ed off. jumping up and down, running here and there. Life's never the same anymore. I'm happy with b'fren. but other than that, I cant find those cheerfulness back again. I'm not laughing as much as I used to, I'm not as friendly as I used to. To be frank, i've realised that i've shut myself out from alot of things and people out there.

its really contridicting. tell me if this is a good sign. it may be a part of growing into adulthood stage of life. but, i dunno. something seems to be lacking. or am i just pretending to be someone whom i am not.

hopes and dreams of life. so what are they. are hopes really just hopes. and dreams are dreams that happen when you are sleeping with your body resting and brains still working?

i dun even know what i am working now for. though work's both great and boring. its contridicting too. its just so hard to describe in words.

b'fren spoke to me last night. and bombed me with an 'out-to-the-space' question. i was stunned to the maximum i swear, but i hid my emotions. that question makes me ponder and set me thinking non-stop again. the conversation still rang in my head till this very moment. it kind of scared me. i just hope he didnt remember what he said or things will get pretty ugly.

im really really heartbroken, that till this very day. you are still not the one who understands me the best. on the account that i really do love you, i'll try to pull it through with you once again.

he's trying his best to protect me and give it all i want. thats very nice, and thats why i love him so much. (:

OK! emotions getting real hay-wired at this point of blog-entry. Jean's signing off. Good day!

there is not much issues between us, 'cause the problems doesnt lie with us. do you see it?

2008-11-17T00:34:00.001+08:00

most people would probably think and feel that im leading my life happily now.
so, who understands all the back stage scenes?

the mental stress and shows that I have to deal with. ha! Welcome to the jokes of life dude!

2008-11-16T15:08:00.008+08:00

We once saw this snail climbing up the wall. Its just a normal snail I would say, crawling slowly after a long rainy day.

So whats so special about this snail?

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It is as huge as a 250ml beer can!!

The Beauty of Mother nature.

Hello folks. Had been missing for sometime. did anyone missed me? laughs. anyway, here's some of the events and random pictures that took place for the past few days. (:

14 Nov, Friday
David's birthday Chalet at Costa Sands.

The drunk birthday boy.

15 Nov, Sat
Grandma's 87th birthday

Random Random! (:
B'fren bought this new jungle hat that day and was playing with it. lol.

Sigh, B'fren has been busy for the whole day for his grandfather funeral. My deepest condolences.

2008-11-08T23:45:00.001+08:00

如果你不爱一个人,
请放手.
好让别人有机会爱她.
如果你爱的人放弃了你,
请放开自己,
好让自己有机会爱别人.
有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的,
有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的.
人生中有许多种 .
但别让自己为一种伤害.
有些缘分是注定要失去的,
有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的,
爱一个人不一定要拥有,
但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱她.
男人哭了是因为他真的爱了.
女人哭了是因为她真的放弃了.

如果真诚是一种伤害,
我选择谎言;
如果谎言一种伤害,
我选择沉默;
如果沉默是一种伤害,
我选择离开.

如果失去是苦，
你怕不怕付出 ,
如果迷乱是苦，
你会不会选择结束,
如果追求是苦，
你会不会选择执迷不悟 ,
如果分离是苦，
你要向谁倾诉,
好多事情都是后来才看清楚,
好多事情当时一点也不觉得苦!

just some meaningful words! (: happy loving everyone!

2008-11-07T11:17:00.003+08:00

haiya!!
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laughs. nothin'. no pictures yet for you. lazy la can. (:
Yesterday after work, rushed down to The Cathay for movie with vin, hud, raymond & xiaodi.

Camen working.
Joe skating.
Guan working.
Leonard dunno-ing.
Kenny dun wan come-ing.
Charles Mia-ing.

Pathetic! DSB is dying. always complain I'm never free to meet you poops. Now I still dont see full attendance. Sigh.. blah!

ok, we watched 'Quantum Of Solace'. James Bond's HOT! like damn hot really!

But I was rather disappointed. The show wasnt really nice as what I've expected it to be. Lots of actions, but a sucky plot, storyline and ending. 3/5 stars I would say. but ohwell, I told b'fren that the show wasnt really fantastic and he replied, 'of cos, 'cause you watch it without me.' lol?

Dinner at Plaza Singapura, and I headed back to the east to meet b'fren. the guys then continued their night out. b'fren picked me up at the interchange, brought me for supper, and send his precious home for bed. (:

poor boy got himself roasted, being a caddy for the past few days, carrying heavy golf bags up and down. lol.

oh! I've caught another movie. 'REC' on Hawolleen Night. Some French budget show, omg. the horror scenes are so gore and disgusting. cant stand it. but its fun ah. alot of girls starts screaming in the middle of the show. 3/4 of the scenes of the whole movie is just inside this building. Watch this and you would know why I called it a 'budget' show. laughs.

so guys out there who wants the bring some girls for some scary nights so they can embrace in you. hahhaah! bring them to this show! 3.5/5 stars for REC!

It's Friday!

boss is not at work, Im going Bugis for lunch in 20 mins time! and most importantly, I can see b'fren for longer hours! (:

2008-11-04T20:11:00.003+08:00

Some random old pictures that Ive found.

Dinner on a random night @ Astons with b'fren.

FYI, he enjoyed squeezing those chilli sauce on his plate and he happily wrote those.

The Belated simple 20' birthday dinner.

A damn sinful but 2 thumbs up dinner!

MORE coming up soon to revive the dead blog! (:

2008-11-04T11:20:00.004+08:00

Im dying of fatigue. seriously lacking of sleep nowadays. ohwell.

Had a quick dinner at Ajisen with b'fren yesterday evening at Tampines Mall. We saw a bunch of students over at Pasta Mania celebrating birthdays. it kind of brings us back to years ago when we were each wearing our own uniforms and having fun. laughs. sweet memories.

after which, we proceeded off to Telly and Valerie's house carpark to wash car. I was so shag-ged out that after waxing Little Yellow, I doze off in the seats. laughs. b'fren then send me home for my little bed. (:

Looking at my calendar, Ive pretty lots of things coming up for November and December!

14 Nov Friday - David's birthday song kok chalet @ Costa Sands Pasir Ris
15 Nov Saturday - Grandma's birthday
19 Nov Wednesday - ICPAS Bowling Night @ Marina Square
20 Nov Thursday - My cute little brother taking his PSLE results
27 Nov Thursday - B'fren and I's tenth month anniversary

9 Dec Tuesday - Hari Raya Haji
13 Dec Saturday - Andy Lau's Concert
19 Dec Friday - My cute little brother posting to his new school
24 Dec Wednesday - big kid Ervin is back to Singapore
25 Dec Thursday - Christmas
27 Dec Saturday - B'fren and I's eleventh month anniversary
31 Dec Wednesday - New Year's Eve

TADA! its 1st of January 2009!

I love year ends! lots of Public Holidays! =D but I guess in between, I would have tons of work to finish. and I'm sssoOOOooooOOOoooo excited for Andy Lau's concert! call me a turtle or whatever, but this would be the FIRST time im going to watch LIVE! and of cos', with b'fren too!

ok, i'll have to admit that its not alot of things up my calendar, but it seems pretty packed. I guess Mum would have to start nagging at me again for not having time to accompany her again. laughs.

oh! did I mentioned that I saw XX at Tampines Mall yesterday? laughs. I shall keep further comments to myself and I. Im not really a fan of hers but I do read her blog once in a blue moon when I'm bored. So this morning, I popped by her blog and I read this.

www.xiaxue.blogspot.com

how she rant and rant on issues. laughs. goodness.

blah! drop her topic!

Anyways! b'fren has classes tonight, so Im gonna be home early this evening and receive some love from mum! and Im going to post some outdated photos and videos soon. =D stay tuned.

DSB dinner this thursday dudes? we gonna have more eye balls! message me! (:

2008-11-03T11:28:00.003+08:00

Im very upset.

I cant even study part time. Called up SIM's part-time courses hotline. Firstly, the intake for Jan 2009 is closed. Secondly, I have to be 21 to be able to study part time. so what the hell is this.

i have to delay and delay and delay. this sucks totally. together with news that i was updated on other stuffs. upsets me even more.

I hate today.

screwed.

2008-10-31T10:17:00.002+08:00

i had dinner with vin, hud and guan that day at Sakura. They've con me down to Bugis, hud went emo and insisted dinner at Sakura Orchard. so we cab down. (:

dinner was fun. wahahhaa.. check out on the games that we had played and the dares that Guan has to eat for twice! I'll upload the video soon for your entertainment.. stay tuned, esp Guan! =D

work has been tiring these few days. baby has given so much love that he sees me every night, even skipped class. hello weekends!

2008-10-28T02:21:00.003+08:00

life's a crap.

if only family is a little richer. I guess I can really do things that I wanted to. all i can now is just to provide the best enviornment for the younger ones to live in. not to be despise by their classmates, not to be mocked at, to at least have their heads lift up a little higher than they used to. do they even learn or appreciate in the first place.

so what about myself. life seems normal but it's empty inside. how do you describe those feelings? Life's a bitch, so am I. laughs. what is it that I am really out for after all these years. Ive thought that Ive found the answer, but in fact till this very day, it is still the biggest question mark ever.

why do you always have to put me down. i do wish that you were a little more encouraging at times. words that you've said dont make me feel better. in fact, making me feel that whatever i've decided for myself is always wrong. im speaking like a little girl. laughs. thanks again.

so did you even understand what ive been through to who i am today. or again, im just like the poser who is trying to catch some attention. haha!

goodnight people. Im exhausted but i cant sleep. so, are all these considered as stress? lol..

2008-10-22T16:45:00.002+08:00

ok. i officially miss DSB. laughs. Night out with vin, guan and hudson made my day. without any sleep the previous day, ive agreed for a mug or two. in the end, it ends up to 4 jugs. =D

hud was so in the clear state of mind, that when he saw b'fren walking past Iguana to look for me, he shouted, 'KENNETH!'. and with the nipples... they were the jokes of the year.. goodness.. haha...

chatted, laughed, angry-ed. all has been said out. but looking at those drunken ass (eg, guan and hud) got us laughing all the way. b'fren came to pick me up. which makes me melt further. (: we had a good talk that night, all has been solved. im happy! b'fren then accompanied me the whole day after that.

its so hard being angry with the fella. what a spell he had casted on me. evil man.

ok dudes, when are we ALL meeting again.

i freakingly need Sentosa.

2008-10-19T00:40:00.001+08:00

i hope i am not thinking too much. so where did the pile of trust went too?

laughs. such a good one.

2008-10-17T01:11:00.002+08:00

know what? 10 more days would be my 9th month-sary with b'fren. (:

This is how time fast time flies. by this upcoming Chinese New Year. We are offically 1 year old. it has always been like the same old days where we play, have fun, chit-chat, rot together. and I guess. Im falling in love with him all over again. there isnt any other better way to make me smile other than seeing him.

i felt so reliant on him. ): I would only feel safe when Im with him. I can only shut my eyes off and have a good deep sleep when Im in his arms. b'fren has always been around with me whenever I need him to. through all my ups and downs, when Im sick, when Im tired, when Im sad, when Im having terrible days to get things over. He's always there for me. just like what he had promised me from the day we started off. He's a man of his words. Im in love with a wonderful man. (:

on the other view. what happened to all the friends. everyone seemed to have vanished into thin air. laughs. or rather, am I drifting away from the everything out there. Everyday seems like a ritual to me. but im contented. I have enough rest, enough money to spend, enough time for my family, enough time to be loved by b'fren. Life's simple, nice and sweet. Mentally has been settled down for now. no more drinkings and clubbings like those good old days. I cant even stay awake for late nights now. Im been refraining myself from the outside world. Im lazy. haha.

work's alright but annoying too. laughs. Im starting to have plans to study again. (: so sickening. but its ok. everything's still under control.

Jean's not dead yet! (:

2008-10-14T21:17:00.002+08:00

i lost my previous template. gonna find a new one SOON and update.

for now. things look fine on the surface.

i dislike staying at home. it makes me feel insecure.
it makes me nervous at times.
it makes my imagination grow crazy.
it makes me lose myself.

baby's right. I need to get over this myself too.

but...

2008-10-09T21:17:00.001+08:00

but for this time, I didnt shed a single tear.

I felt it all.

thanks for holding my hands through this darlin.

Ill stop blogging for awhile. (:

2008-10-01T15:34:00.001+08:00

im very lazy and tired to blog. Give me some time ok! =D

2008-09-25T09:09:00.003+08:00

pretty fast. and we are here to thursday. last sat was a small gathering at pat's chalet with DSB and the rest. Had some chivas cum beer and headed home after a few hours.

HEY patty pat! I hate you for what you had said that day at the chalet (if you even remember) lol. but I forgive you since it was your birthday. laughs

Happy Belated Birthday to you again!

hope you had fun! Stop growing more hairs and being so horny. lol! (:

My apologies to Enid for not turning up for your bbq on sunday, but I think you had fun didnt you! Stay pretty and happy with your bf! *hugs*

Happy Belated Birthday to Enid too!

sunday.
b'fren took me to the chinese doctor to cure my breathing difficulties and bad cough that had been clingling on me for days. and the medication for 7 days cost me $64.30. I swear that this has been the most expensive doctor that ive ever been to. Health has been in pretty bad shape for a period of time. ohwell, some money cant be saved. b'fren drove down to Marina Square and we caught a movie. The Days.

Pretty nice and realistic show. You should go catch it. (: drove along the circuit for F1, and indeed the track's very narrow. we managed to catch a glance at the pit stop too. its too beautiful!

monday.
my sickness got worst and I almost couldnt climb out of bed. was feeling so terrible. b'fren has been very sweet and nice, he came down to fetch me for breakfast and brought me to the clinic. We went to the Polyclinic and to my horror, i have to wait for 39 people just for registration itself. omfg. my head was bursting and b'fren had no choice but to bring me to the private clinic nearby my house. $30!

thus. In 2 days, Ive spent near to $100 to get medication and consultation. so well done! and till this very moment, which is a Thursday morning, I hadnt fully recover yet.

so tell me, does the problem lies with the doctor? or my body?

tuesday.
I hadnt recover fully, I took medication and I was struggling the whole day at work in order to focus hard. terrible.

wednesday.
b'fren was lovely to suprise me by picking me up from work. (:

work load's getting pretty heavy. I hope I can still take it. begin to dislike all the lill eyes here and there. and I dun understand why these people loves to be such a nosey freak, poking their long dirty noses into every single thing of what Im doing. freaks!

Long coming weekends for me, Ive taken leave on Monday too. Tuesday's back to work and Wednesday's Hari Raya, Thursday have to be back for meeting. Friday and then weekends again. thus next week wld be short and fast. great!

as for this weekend, I think Ill rest at home, watch F1 on Channel 5 and maybe grab some potato chips. roar. roads blocked, trains gonna be packed, taxis' gonna burn your pockets, bf's still sick due to wrong medication till now and needs to golf competition. so, it would be a nice cosy long weekend for me at home. (:

till then!

say Hello to my new LG Viewty KU990! (: (:

2008-09-20T11:02:00.002+08:00

Ive changed by next sat's duty to today, thus this beautiful sat morning, Im stoning here in the office. thankyouuuu...

its not a bad thing working on such a bright sat morning, but i just thought of something that totally just cuts it all on the birthday mood. Next weekends, are the F1 racing days. screwed up. Town's gonna be packed, roads are blocked. So how on earth am I going to go downtown to meet vin and the rest for dinner? farkedup. Im so unhappy and upset. why the hell does F1 needs to fall on such days, especially when now weekends mean so much to me.

Im not happy....

2008-09-18T10:51:00.010+08:00

PARDON me. Ive dropped the idea of going interview this sat. laughs!

b'fren's right. How could I be air stewardess when I'm always so lost without seeing him? hahaa... true though.. I know this would be a good chance, (since Im still young, thats what everyone is saying) and I should give it a try.

It felt weird. imagine I have to be so polite. No having nicotine breaks. Thick makeup. Materialistic and realistic girls. think back. its really not me. and besides, working long as a stewardess seems soooooo deadly. No career prospects. Imagine you spend 5 years working as a stewardness, then you get married and pregnant. You'll be sacked. and there goes your rice bowl. and when you are getting a new job after you had given birth. you've come to realise that you had just became a flower vase, with no other working experience. with the fast ongoing speed of the society, organizations may have changed so much that when you've realised it. TOO LATE!

**P.S I have nothing against air stewardesses. really. just that I know that Im not emotionally prepared to be one, though feedback was, I would sure be taken in. rofl. Its just based on personal views and opinions. =D**

enough of this topic!

lets take a look at one of the birthday gifts that I've bought for b'fren for his 24th birddae on July. (:

His PUMA Golf Bag.

ok. this is rather expensive. This was the one he had fallen for at the first sight. eversince he saw it, we kept appearing at Puma shop back in Tampines Mall. He wanted to buy on the day of his birddae, but it was the exclusive one and only in the shop! and it was bought by me! Never did he expect, that this was already standing in the middle of his bedroom platform waiting for him. laughs. and this was impossible without the help of hanbin! =D

b'fren has such an expensive hobby. laughs. I'm not complaining. I just love lazing around the driving range, chill and watch him practise. its makes me feel happy & proud, to have such a talented&loving sweetie. (:

9 more days to out 8th month anniversary, 11 days to my birthday.

there's nothing much to complain about Life now at least. (:

2008-09-18T10:51:00.004+08:00

You Are Disturbingly Profound

You're contemplative, thoughtful, and very intense.

Taking time to figure out the meaning of life is a priority for you.

Because you're so introspective, you often react in ways that surprise people.

No one can really understand how you are on the inside... and that disturbs them.

Are You Disturbingly Profound or Profoundly Disturbing?

Your Career Type: Enterprising

You are energetic, ambitious, and sociable.

Your talents lie in politics, leading people, and selling things or ideas.

You would make an excellent:

Auctioneer - Bank President - Camp Director

City Manager - Judge - Lawyer

Recreation Leader - Real Estate Agent - Sales Person

School Principal - Travel Agent - TV Newscaster

The worst career options for your are investigative careers, like mathematician or architect.

What's Your Ideal Career?

2008-09-17T15:21:00.003+08:00

No 100% come alone from an individual, it can only be made up of 50% from 2 persons.
Giving your love wholeheartedly and thats only when you'll be love too. however, it would shattered you to many pieces too. Keep a distance could protect yourself from getting hurt, at the same time, it would determine your lonliness for a lifetime too.
The people who's willing to stay put to quarrel with you, are the ones who truly loves you.
Sometimes, it not he/she who doesn't care. Its just that he/she holds too much significance to you.
Coldness, isnt cruel at all times. Its just a way to aviod being hurt.
There is 1,000 steps between us. As long as you are willing to reach out for the 1st step, I'll walked towards you for the next 999 steps.
Those whom are happy because you are sad - Enemies. Those whom are happy because you are happy - Friends. Those whom are sad because you are sad - People whom you should hold dear to your heart.
In the midst of 'Believe', there is still a 'lie'.
True friends aint those whom you can talk everything under the sun with. its those even when both dun speak, you wont feel awkward.
Friends are those whom if you had expose them, they will still like you.

random random random random random. this is a random post.

Im so tired from work. I wanna be full time johngoh's wife for a short period now. can i? laughs. spouting nonsense. please ignore.

but anyway.. VIN! Congrats in passing your TP just with the first time!!! *claps claps claps!!* feeling happy for you! but please dont be like Camen ok! laughs.. hahhaa.. I'll see DSB real soon next week! weet! (:

there is this mass interview for air stewardess this sat for JetStar. omg. should i go and see see look look? alot of people asked me to go and try. laughs. but should i try try? i need comments and feedbacks people.......omg... rofl...

2008-09-15T22:19:00.000+08:00

i hate my breathing system. i hate my lungs and i hate my heart.
I feeling like ripping off the rib cages and tear off the bones to let oxygen go in.
I hate having breathing difficulties..

URGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

2008-09-13T02:21:00.003+08:00

ok. its sat morning! and hello to weekends. and soon goodbye again! whatever~

but anyway, gonna wish HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to DSB Number 7 RAYMOND GOH!
Im sorry that I could'nt turn up. but not really so, but it was due to the sudden change of plans. omg. I was rather disappointed. 'cause I thought like for really once, DSB and DSS could be of full attendance! laughs. oh well! hope you had fun that day ok! be like a grown up now! *pats on the shoulder...!*

September's full of birthdae babies. omg. I keep receiving messages for chalets, bbq, celebrations. laughs. we shall see how it goes huh.

I officially hate mooncakes for now. I swear! Everyone at work has been stuffing me with mooncakes for like the past 5days. keep asking me to eat. Im totally turn off by the sight of it. URGH! omg. its really EVERYDAE. wanna kill myself. Boss even mentioned that I can afford to eat like 10 mooncakes. wtf. the next person who's gonna ask me to eat mooncake....................................................

I'll offically ask them to stuff the mooncake up their asses!!! lol! hahaha! ok.. Im kidding. but whatever it is. NO MORE MOONCAKES FOR ME! till 2009's Mooncake Festival! =D

Friday's nice. b'fren waited and picked me up from workplace carpark. His freaking sinper jungle-hat and his army uniform really got me entertained for the whole journey. went over to Upper Changi Road to get his white light fixed on his 'Little Yellow' and headed to Simpang Bedok for dinner.

home, bathed, den b'fren came to fetch me out again. (: Now, he's sleeping away like a pig. but the poor boy has to wake up in 5hrs time to work and golf again.

damn. i need rest. like really. im falling sick again. I dun wan!!

*counting down, counting down.*

2008-09-11T10:25:00.005+08:00

Growing up is never a simple, easy process, neither is is smooth-sailing. I was reading through my previous blog entries, starting from Friendster blogs then to blogger, backtracking the days all the way back to Year 2005.

Realized, people come and go in my Life. Though so, they had left footprints in me. Footprints has pros and cons. Some left me happy moments, some drowning me in pool of tears. Guess, I've really grown up, in some ways, here and there. Different people at different stage of my life, taught me different things. Different point of views, different angles, different perspective, different solving solutions, different problems. It brought me to who I am today. Im happy that whenever I am down, there's always angels pulling my hands along.

From 2005 to date 2008, it has only been 3 to 4 years. and why so? does it feels as though its been so long ago? and graduating from Riverside Secondary isnt' many years back ago too. But why does it seems so far and so out of reach?

Reading back, really, thats nothing that would hold on to us forever. Friendship, love, kinship, everyday, people are born, people die. Even memories would fade and dont stay with you for long. Do you even remember how you spend your everyday like 5 years back ago? in details?

I could only recalled, past few years, Life was full of ups and downs. It was really like riding a roller coaster. I hate it. Life was tiring, contridicting and so complexing for me. In fact, Life was a hinder, a burden that I had to pulled with everyday. Facing the everyday problems again and again. Making me all tired and exhausted. phew!

Everything changed. Let alone Humans. Thats Life. take it accept it. or just walk to your nearest window and hop down.

but its ok, I love b'fren, and he loves me too. thats asked for now. I thankyou. Thankyou for grabbing hold of me when I almost when dead at heart, pulling me hard and along with you, the heavy burdens we share together, the things we had been through together, the days we spent together. (: I could'nt asked for anything more. Thankyou for making my life simpler, better and grounded sweetie.

16 more days to 8th month anniversary. 18 days to turning 20.

Im a contented lady of this ugly life. (:

come seduce me.

2008-09-10T00:18:00.003+08:00

good wednesday! Im blogging before sleep! =D

work's nice on tues!! and a last minute meeting in the morning. laughs. Im gonna be part of the planning team of the upcoming huge event. with 1000 delegates. (: theres so much A&P stuffs to come up with. (: workworkwork.

meet up with vin at aljunied mrt station after work and brought him down to Century Square Best Denki to get his present for his mum's birthdae. Portable DVD Player. help him settled his stuffs and directed him to the bus stop, I went back alone to Best Denki. Promised the rest for a short chill-out session, so I made my way back upstairs. Most of the promoters had changed, and Best Denki looked so un-happening after I left.

Good grief I didnt go back and work there. shakehead, I would be stuck there for ages again. tskk.

after those sessions, got downstairs for another nicotine break, bought some drinks and msged honeymonkey. knowing that I was alone, he was nice and sweet enough to come down all the way from Marina Bay to Century Square to pick me up... (: was feeling so happy and beaming all the way, besides that part whereby he almost fought with the cab driver in front. shakehead.

treated like a lill young girl, he sent me home, holding my hands up the stairs, hugged and kissed me goodbye. laughs. and he headed home! thanks for the ride home b'fren! (:

rotted here and there, phoned with b'fren and im off to bed!!!!
goodnight angels!

2008-09-08T11:06:00.010+08:00

Lets not have any Monday blues yet, 'cause its Brunch time soon. (:

Weekends are gone again and back to work.
Friday Night
b'fren drove his 'Little Yellow' to pick me up from home and headed to The Cathy for a walk. together with jun and chuyun with their 'Little White' too. walked over to Plaza Singapura and we decided to watch movie for the sake of watching movie and pass time. and so... we watched.. THE DARK KNIGHT! laughs.. omg... i feel so freaking outdated and lagging behind time. we were expecting to be alone in the theatres, but suprisingly, the last 2/3 rows are filled! so hahaha.. there are others similar like us too! hoho...

Before the show started, we spent like 1 hr plus in the arcade. we had fun like small kids.. jumping here and there..laughs.. we had a video taken by chuyun. but ive forgotten to get it from her. ill upload it soon.. =D

after movie it was like 3am+, drove out to Selegie for some Rochor beancurd, but it was closed. -.- so we all headed home for bed! (:

Saturday
initially promised Camen to reach at 1 to chit chat with him at Batok, but I couldnt wake up. I was too tired from the one whole week of work. =D woke up, ate a lill, bathe&changed, den slowly walk out to busstop to wait for 506. *yawns*. do all the things that has to be done and sat down with the rest.

If anyone could remember, the scar on my right hand was quite bad a few years back ago. But i believe only Joe and Patrick would remember. that was done by my most beloved friend. WEIGUO if anyone could remember our long lost friend. laughs. I would remember him all my life for as long as my right hand is stil attached to my body.

and now, I would remember Camen all my life too, for leaving a scar on my right hand knuckles. lol! but i hope that will get better. 'cause it stil hurts now bro!! omg..

zomg. my right hand is so ugly. Please chop it away!

Sunday
Was sleeping all the way with baby till 7pm. laughs! went for dinner @ 511 with weibin.telly.valerie.junxiang.chuyun.and baby. home sweet home after that!

at this very moment, my stomach has been shouting non stop since 9am.
2.5 weeks more to pay day! hoho! faster come faster come! =D

oh! tell you a lill secret! *b'fren might be bringing me to Andy Lau's concert during December! hohohohoho! weeeeee...... im such a happy girl!**

27th is the 8th month that we are together.
29th is my 20th birthdae.
We'll have it all together and share the happiness! (: LOVES!

(P.S. Im not naked nor with a towel. Im in a blue tube dress and my shoulders are blocked by baby. so, dont think too much. laughs.)

Im always beaming when I see him. I dunno know. Before we are together, till now we are together, going 8 months, you had never failed to bring a smile on my face each time i see you. I love you! and you know it too. (: hearts.

2008-09-05T08:58:00.003+08:00

Happy Friday to all! Im trying hard to revive my blog for the past few days, but it didnt work. laughs. Im sorry. But Im back.

Everything seems fine at work. like SEEMS. I really hope it fine, and I hope that it would be like this for a few more years. Ultimately, yea, I would leave here, in a few years time. laughs.

why the decision? this may not be what ive wanted for now. I believe that I would have to go a longer route to get to what I want. For me, there's no shortcuts, Im not financially strong enough to survive without working. No work = No Money = Eat Grass. I may consider in taking ACCA part time next year. ANYONE INTERESTED TO STUDY WITH ME? so that after work, I would just have to go into the lift and go downstairs for lesson. laughs. I would need a study companion in order to survive through.

or else, Ill be vomitting blood sitting with the other students I feel. laughs.. so anyone thinking of stdying ACCA? this will take a long route. It will be tough and I will be struggling. But basically, I would just need lots of understanding from family and bf. i dunno! i hadnt make my mind yet. tskk.

bfren was sick yesterday. and I mean yes, hes really in bad shape. I was at home, walked out to buy him a pack of Mild 7 and Fisherman. cabbed down to visit him for awhile and cabbed back... He really looked ----------- monsterous. laughs.. I could help but keep laughing badly.. haha.. I shall not describe further.. he would kill me if he reads this.. =D

get well soon darlin'! (:

3 more weeks to me and vin's day. laughs. hello vin, this is the 3rd year we ARE going to have our bdae together. =D Lets have a DSB dinner ok! like strictly DSB only. laughs.

I hadnt had a wishlist for so long. think its time to have one. =D

DKNY/Guess/COACH watch
MANGO/ZARA Black cardigan
My usual Escada Rock & Rollin' Perfume
AnnaSui WaterProof Mascara

omg. I cant think of anything else. Theres never lack of things to buy, but Im only lack with cash to buy them all. But these are like on the top priority things that I need now. laughs. Anyone that prefers to give me a big ANGBAO w/o gifts its ok! I'll still accept! heehee...

1. Watch - I wore my watch to work not realising that its spoilt, think its time to change a new decent watch. laughs. 2. Black cardigan - I lost my Mango wool material cardigan. neh neh de. $70 over bucks. 3. Escada Perfume - Ive run out of my supply. the supply that addicts people to death. laughs. People like KIM GUAN. hahhahaa... 4. AnnaSui Mascara - I dunno, thats extra, but I just like it. =D

see. Im just a simple girl to please. I dun need 897456147882174137763 things to satisfy me. *hints* =D

2008-08-30T02:18:00.002+08:00

Just We Lyrics (Fantasy Couple / Trouble OST)
Singer: M. Family / Romanization by Kreah

onjena / unnun nol / nae-ga urrin chi mo-reu-go
sochung-han / saramul / kyote dum-yonsodo mollasso

nunmuldo / hansumdo / shigani hae-gyohae jundago
nawa na / hamkkehan / sarinduri narul wiro-hae

Just in my heart Just in we together
saranghanda marurhalkka
onjena ni gyote cho-umchorom
noye sonul chapgo hamkke kodko shipo
Just in my heart Just in we together
kidarimwe kkuten nae-ge wajwo nae-ge ki hwirul jwo
onjerado noye kyote My Girl

ttonagan / binjari / sonmyonghan guri-um soke
dwinuchun / huwiro / norul nan ttodashi burununde

Just in my heart Just in we together
saranghanda marurhalkka
onjena ni gyote cho-umchorom
noye sonul chapgo hamkke kodko shipo
Just in my heart Just in we together
kidarimwe kkuten nae-ge wajwo nae-ge ki hwirul jwo
onjerado noye kyote My Girl

kokchongi dwae tto darul sarami nowe kyote
jarijapgo issul kkabwa tashi hanbon nayegiro dorawa

Just in my heart Just in we together
tashi mannan noyegeman
hae-chugo shipun mal norul sarang-hae
kidarin noyege chonhae-jugo shipo
Just in my heart Just in we together
tura-onun ku nari ondamyon nae-ga tora-omyon
kojyokanun ma-um modu julke

Oh my God. You know what? Ive pretty much to blog. but I just seemed so excited 'cause Ive changed the blog song which is the OST from the Korean Drama series. LOVES LA LOVES! Im never known as a korean drama fan, but this time. Im in Love again! with the show of cos!

if anyone can help me look for the English translation, zomg i tell u.. I WOULD LOVE HIM/HER SO MUCH DEEP DEEP! *but wont be more than my love for b'fren. -whispers- he gets jealous*

LOL

2008-08-28T11:35:00.010+08:00

That's fast. Welcome to Thursday. One more day and the weekends are here again. Lets have a lill recap on what happened for the past few days.. hmmm...

Monday Night

after I got home from work, my breathing difficulty got very. I was really out of breathe. but still, stubborn as I am, I refuse to see other doctors. I got home and took a short nap, hoping by the time Im awake, it will be gone. snoozed for 45mins and I woke up, to find myself in the same situation again.

That was only then, Ive decided to get the doctor. b'fren was busy at work so I made my way down to the clinic near my house. To make things worst for me, I was already short of breathe, and the strong stench of frangipani (is that how you spell that?) smell followed me all the way to the clinic which is like half a street away. The 'fragance' was so strong and choking that I could really drop death on the spot due to lack of oxygen. argh!

Ignored it and when for the doctor. after hearing what the doctor told me, I got pretty fed-up. Really. He's the 2nd doctor that I went to telling me that its not asthma and gave me something else which even boils me further. got into pretty bad shape and when I reached home feeling even worst.

b'fren called from work and asked how I was. but my situation didnt get any better. I struggled for hours to breathe. the chest was feeling so tight and the blockage in the windpipe really kills. b'fren den rushed down to pick me up to his family doctor to go for ECG test to see if I had any heart attacks or sorts.

results came out was normal. and AGAIN. Doctor 3 tells me the same thing AGAIN! and gave me stronger pills to it. I refuses to admit to what they say. 'cause I know the condition of my body better than anyone elses do!! to calm me down, b'fren brought me for porridge, looked after me and accompanied me for hours before he went home to sleep. though he was really tired, but im so happy and fortunate that he cares and loves me. (:

Tuesday
On MC, 'cause when I woke up, it feels that same. I hate it really. Rested at home and ate Honey Stars with milk that b'fren bought for me on Monday night, just to make sure I have some food. (: Was feeling better by late afternoon, so ive decided to go out! =D Called all the DSB.. but all not free la! left me alone.. laughs.. but I dun blame them la.. they've always accommodate me not able to attend gatherings.. *Loves!*

rested awhile more and caught some DVD, changed and when out to Century Square. Only Alvin was free, so we coffee-ed at Coffee Bean and 'gossiped' for some time. Buddy then dropped me at weibin's house to meet up with b'fren and the rest for dinner. thanks bro! =D

darlin' drove his 'convertable' down to bin's house..! lol.. a 'Convertable' that's able to fetch like 20 people? =D and we rode down to Big Splash to have Sushi Teh!

The guys enjoying and having fun with the 'Convertable' ride. lol!

Yumyum!!!!! The food is so much better and nicer than Sakae Sushi ah! (price is also 'better' anyway). b'fren, me, weibin,junxiang, we ordered like a whole table of food. DAMN SHIOK i tell you! sashimi, cod fish, ika, chawanmushi, Saporo, tempura, ramen and sooooo many more...

Goodness, we ate like we hadnt eaten for 3 days.. lol! 4 person and our bill was $180plus.. quite worth it eh! Average $50 per pax and we ate some monsters. hoho! so happy. sick and eating good food makes me feel like a happy girl! (:
off to weibin's hse for some daidees and its time for home.

Wednesday

This is darlin's new car. Honda Fit. Lol. He regretted and complained that he should had gotten his Swifts Sport instead. Nice what! no meh?

Ive forgetten to take a upclose picture of his rims. I LIKE!

It was a night of cosy hugs and loves 'cause its our

7th Month Anniversary!

I love you! (:

2008-08-25T09:17:00.008+08:00

Monday monday monday monday monday.

I hate mondays, especially rainy-weathered mondays. at this moment, Im having like bad stomach aches now after eating the Old Chang Kee curry puff moments ago!! arghhh.. the stomach aches are so eerie and sickening that it keeps giving me cold creeps and goosebumps. Furthermore, my table is like under the aircon!

b'fren and I had broken our own new record! We had 6 bottles of tiger! wahhahaa...! (the bottles as in those coffeeshop type like all the uncle uncle love to drink) our maximum was 4, but we broke our record with 2 more bottles... hahahaa... and b'fren knocked out after that.. LOL.. *shakeheads*

I was sleeping all the way early sat night to late evening on sunday. I needed sleep. alot. was feeling a lill unwell.

lets add this entry with a few pictures! Let me show you my lill desk at work. (:

This is the first time ever that I have my name like this printed out with my own desk. lol. By far this is the biggest organization Ive ever worked for I guess. laughs.

an overview of my table! =D

The inside. =D Remove the Old Chang Kee from your sight please.

the desktop with our pictures to keep me so motivated to 1730hrs everyday! =D

I have a bad memory, but this sticky pads are my best friends at work! (:

2008-08-23T08:43:00.002+08:00

thanks and goodmorning. Its sat morning and Im at work. Im very very tired to the max. Guess what I was doing yesterday night and caught myself in such a tired mood?

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We played 'Monopoly' till 0400hrs in the morning @ telly's house! YA!! like from yesterday night 2300hrs plus till this morning 4am! and I have to wake up at 0700hrs to come for work. I only managed to have like 2.5hrs of sleep. Im like a walking zombie now..................................

b'fren is bad with words, but he always knows what to do to make me feel loved by him. He showers with me with many many hugs and kisses everyday to express himself. loves!!!! (: 4 more days to our 7th month anniversary baby!!!

2008-08-22T12:29:00.002+08:00

half an hour more to lunch time and Im already hungry. hmmm.. I have to work tomorrow. omg. that means I have to wait till sunday then I can visit Dr Joshua Lua already.

today he would only be around in the morning, which I have to work.
tomorrow he would only be around in the morning again, which I have to work.
that means Im left with sunday to go see him. which CLASHES with DSB outing. siiiigghhh.

im trying to cut down/quit nicotine. I swear my breathing is quite bad. I hadnt touched any since morning. which is a great accomplishment at least. the next target is not to be tempted during lunch time to get a new pack. roar! Im going to buy chocolates and sweets later I dont care!

2008-08-21T09:27:00.003+08:00

you know what?

of all the people in my life, i love b'fren the most. BUT, it saddens me sooooOOoo much.... that.. he FORGETS my birthday date. omg. he like mixed up all the dates.. goodness.

its ok darlin', I forgive you for now. but see how you redeem yourself lo.. =D

Money seems so worthless now. the moment Ive realised the pay is here, the next minute out goes the money. Ive paid all my bills through internet banking. tmd. looking at the balance left again. I felt the heartache and the pathetic-ness. laughs! oh well! its time to see the doctor and contribute some money to the government again. idiots.

2008-08-20T08:57:00.009+08:00

So fast. Its wednesday again. weeettt... Im very sleepy at this very moment. Met b'fren and david yesterday night for a 3hrs chill-OUT session at Laguna. after the 'incident', Im rather scared of going Laguna, especially during wee hours. I have to force b'fren to accompany me to the Ladies. XD.

sometimes, its just nice to lay back and listen to b'fren talk. Sometimes, it would turn into nags and he keep repeating himself. really got me into laughs at times. hahaha.. I've always loved, to sit back and listen to him speak, anything under the sun. Im not suprised, that Ive always learn new stuffs after he speaks. thats why I love my b'fren so much!

thats him. he's always playing like a young kid in my eyes. but when it comes to real serious stuffs, he's scarier than any people. he's a wolf la! lol..

its really time to get a doctor. Breathing difficulties usually only comes during night time. but now, 'they' love me and had decided to stay in me for days. I've tolerating from this for a couple of days through day and night now. got me pretty frustrated. and I would believe that this would cost me quite abit, thus Ive been waiting for payday to come before I consult one. good grief! sighhh.

these few days, Ive been chasing after this Korean show. Ive never been a fan of Korean shows, but this was an exception. Its on Channel U every Mon to Fri @ 2200hrs to 2300hrs. The lead actors were hilarious and I pretty like the story line. this show never fails to bring me, my sister and my mother laughter. zomg. 4 more episodes and its ending. Im going to search for the DVD. =D

**Must watch! 2 thumbs up!

thats me! (:

2008-08-19T08:48:00.008+08:00

I hate the issue. Really. From the time things happened till now. Its almost three years. I dun hate the man. Ive forgiven on that point. It's just that when I look back into those times of the darkest period, I felt really upset and unhappy. As at that time, Im not fortunate enough to have responsible people to look after me. In fact, even adults are really irresponsible. I hate it.

some issues that happened around became discussing topics between me and b'fren. Unlike others, he's a responsible man, but too bad I had met him earlier. I wouldnt need to pull through so much pain, ALONE.

and where I have to go through really bad physical, mental pain and torture, others would only have to pull through their emotions. so whats yours compared to mine? here, Im not being proud of myself or what-so-ever. Its just that, whats wrong has been wrong and dont even make the same mistake again.

We make mistakes everyday here and there, its inevitable. Some mistakes Humans are able to make them a couple of times. Some mistakes you cant afford even to make them once but since there is spilled milk, use a piece of cloth and wipe it off. The floor is clean again. Life still has to go on. Isnt it?

sadly to say, it brings a scar. Im not sure if it applies to everyone, but for me, Yes. I can forget how to count 1+1, but I dun think I would even forget where the place is even when I grow old.

So, this was the darkest period that Ive been through, MYSELF. Sad enough to remember that, really. till this very day, I could still tear over the issue. the phyiscal and emotional pain, is inbearable. really. It really took me pretty long, to get issues over.

till this era, laugh-able but true, some people still cant accept this. I really don't know why. is it good to be traditional at times? Whatever is it past is past, never would anyone wish or wanted such things to happened, dont they? goodness.

LOVE someone, accept all their past, embrace who they are in the present. its the past that nurtures one to be who he/she is now, and thats the he/she that you loved now. so why get bothered about history?

**the above entry is not pointing fingers at any particular person. DONT get sensative, DONT get paranoid. Its just based on personal opinions and thinkings.**

anyway, i think my health is getting from bad to worst, even though Im having my meals regularly. so tell me whaads wrong with me again. my breathing difficulty is coming back every night.

I wish to see b'fren tonight. I want to give him a big tight hug and tell him 'I Love You.'

Im happy as who I am now, and I dont look back into the past anymore. its all over as long as my b'fren is with me.

he's my drinkin' buddy, he's my slackin' khaki, he's my listenin' ear, he's my advisor.

So, I have an all-in-one b'fren. Who needs another? I dont! laughs. (:

2008-08-17T23:55:00.003+08:00

ok. its monday, wave bye bye to the weekends.

its nice meeting up with all the westside friends. really. all the farked buddies for years and knowing each other's styles and ways. what a waste, that we aint able to communicate often.
reason due to me, staying in the east. roar!

thanks patrick for being the 'clown'. or rather I was the clown as he had never seen Jean is such a 'laugh-able' situation. laugh laugh laugh. damn annoying freak. oh Ama***~!

yea, I was just being silly. Bfren loves me (though he always scolds me, -.-) and I love my bfren! lol. 9 more days to 7th month anniversary! (:

ouhwell. my old illness is back. my breathing difficulty is coming back for me. and I have trouble breathing occasionally. pretty bad i feel. Its really time to get a doctor. Money again.

tsk!

lol. this is for fun. abstracted from the 100 pages report of Personality test or something. it gives very detailed description though.

2008-08-15T23:47:00.003+08:00

Im not suppose to be at home at this hour.

yea. Suppose to meet him. but it was cancelled again.

its ok. goodnite people.

doctor told mummy, that I may have asthma background. lol.
so many things I want to share with you.

but its ok.

2008-08-15T15:49:00.005+08:00

blink blink. there goes another week.

i swear this week past like damn fast. I dont know why. probably due to increasing workload I guess.

From Monday till this very moment, Ive only seen Bfren on Wednesday night for 2 hours. From our usual loving sessions for at least 1 hour per day. till 2 hours within this whole week. what a drastic change. really. but we both were like really too tired to come out.

and so.. Its finally friday, the CPA Forum 2008 held @ Marriot Hotel was a success. in fact, this is the first time I had been to such an event. 'Accounting event'. laughs. it was fun. but I had to reach Marriot at 0630hrs. and due to lack of sleep yesterday nite. I was like a total zombie this morning. good thing is, I took a cab this morning. and it can be claimed from the company.. wahhahha..

Im in the Communications department, i do have opportunities to get in touch with media. and today, reporters and journalists were down at our event. and I met this girl from SPH. I know her name, but I believed that it wont be really nice to like S-P-E-L-L out hers. She was damn blardy rude to the maximum. Even my boss has to admit that. good gracious. such high education had gone down to a waste. and god bless to the intern that was attached to her. -.-

after the forum had started at 0900hrs. I had such an easy job. Walk around, talk and eat. LOL.

0800hrs - Breakfast. It was sandwiches with sliced salmon, or oat bread with cheese and 2 big jars of super nice cookies which they dun sell!

1015hrs - Coffee Break. Best! Nice doughnuts, nice vegetarian springrolls, and 1 more i forgetten what.

1230hrs - Lunch break. lol. all the nice food come out. sushi, satays, chickens, fish, fruits etc etc etc....

waaaaaa... damn shiok la... I pratically only walked around and eat eh..zomg.. and we get to eat first before the delegates come out for their breaks.. lol.. so nice hospitality and welfare for the staff. hoho.

see. im so happy. take cab, company pay. Eat 3 meals in 5hrs time, excluding from 0600hrs, company pay. After forum, come back office, collegue drive us back. lol.. really damn happening todae!!! laughs...the price to pay for 'free' stuffs. came back to office at 1430hrs.. urgent tasks came to me and I have 1 hr to reach dateline. thankyou! but now im blogging. 'cause Im done with work! =D hoho..

alright. enough for the enthu-ness for work. ytd I offically met up with DSB for dinner. lol. we have a strength of total 11 now. and this wld be the max!

the guys had some issues yesterday. But it was over. (:

Nevertheless, New member for us!

DSS Number 1: Jean! (always&forever No. 1 and only 1. -.-)

DSB New*

Charles

Vincent

Kim Guan

Kenny

Camen

Raymond*

Jassen

Lennard

Hudson

im tired too.

2008-08-11T08:47:00.002+08:00

thanks to NDP that falls on a Sat, its a school holiday. NOT a public holiday. Some of the companies do not give an extra day off. And my company belongs to one of them. TSK.

So here I am on a Monday morning. Reporting time is 0830hrs, but till this moment no one is here yet (0848hrs). and how sickening is that. Im sitting down here with nothing to do at all but it was due to me finishing up all my work last week. lol. Im like asking for more tasks to hold.

Work's stressful but its ok. Its a growing up process. but one thing more sure. I really hate being employed. I want to be an employer of my own! and I dunno when would I be 'lucky' enough to reach for that day. Probably after some time I'll get full time back to real estate again.. =D

I shall stop complaining. typical though. Its monday people. Monday blues. laughs. was watching Oylmpics late ytd till 0100hrs++ thus Im feeling a lill sleepy at this moment. yawns*

oh. im meeting desmond to paste flyers later at thiong bahru. god damn. *double yawns*

work work work work. money faster come. 'cause Ive spent all. dunno on what also. blardy cab fares!

I left with 6 weeks and 3 days before the end of my 19 years old life. Im turning 20! but excited yet not excited! sigh!

its 16 days to 7th month anniversary with baby! (: hugs hugs*